Runway, Week Two: I Say Potato, You Say Hot Tranny Mess

Dear Heidi Klum: Oy vey. The challenge this week was BURLAP SACKS? Let's forget for a moment that there was a brief foray into high-fashion burlap in the mid-90s and Chanel used the rotten stuff for Paris Fashion Week '09... Just because the saying "She would even look good in a burlap sack" exists does not make it a natural or good choice for the show! Whatever happened to making clothes out of Hershey's wrappers or cornhusks?

Anyway - best to worst, in order, with pictures (again, recommending CoolPreviews for this):

• Jonathan - I literally gasped when this came down the runway. I thought it was gorgeous and stayed true to the whole burlap idea without looking like burlap at all. I would totally buy it. The hair was totally hideous, though, and so is that model.
  
• Janeane - Something about that charcoal & maroon combo just DOES IT for me. Or maybe it's the sweetheart neckline. LOVE.
  
• Amy - She won, and I think that's fair - the construction was totally beautiful and done very well, too.
  
• Jay Nicolas - I think this would have been my favorite look, if the bodice had looked more finished. It ended up looking shredded, like when you walk on the hems of your jeans and they start fraying and you pick at them until they're all separated and stringy.
  
• Anthony - Pretty, but a bit boring. Not a lot of risk involved.
• Ben - Meh. Yawn. Zzzzzzzz... (But he switched models! No longer tied to Asian-inspiration manga model! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? Probably more napping.)
  
• Emilio - Really a terrif silhouette, but the pattern left me a little Tetris-y.
  
• Anna - Using the actual potatoes to make a print for the dress was a great idea, but the whole thing was just a little TOO "Little House on the Prairie" for me.
  
• Jesus - I actually thought his dress was really pretty in the front, although the judges were completely right in saying the back made her ass look lopsided. And I don't see what was so scandalous about using as little burlap as possible in the design. HELLO?
  
• Maya - This isn't something I would wear, but it was clearly made well. So, points.
  
• Seth Aaron - Cute, edgy, blah blah blah. Yawn. Plus, I don't think the skirt was flattering at all. ON A MODEL. Hood was interesting.
  
• Mila - Listen, she clearly has talent, but I just don't get her point of view really. If this is her aesthetic, then I am just not a fan, period. Only models could wear this dress, and whether they SHOULD or not is a whole 'nother blog post.
  
• Pamela - I understand why she was cut - there was a serious case of "Oh my god Becky, look at her butt" - but (ha) at least there was some good technique. Oh well.
  
• Jesse - It just looked sloppy, and made the model look lumpy - and the instructions were to make a DRESS.
  
• Ping - SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

At least this season is (to borrow a phrase from Randy "Dawg" Jackson) "one hundred billion million percent" better than last season. New York, Newwwwww Yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk! (Bah bah bah-da-dah.)