It is hot as balls outside today

Ummmm sorry I never update anymore, the only post I want to write is about how much easier my life would be if I were an orphan and I'm pretty sure NO ONE wants to read that.

Still looking for work (but I have a great lead in a new recruiter that I met with this afternoon, who has already set me up to work a red-carpet gig next week!), still working part-time in a box office (I wanted to murder every tourist that came in on Memorial Day weekend)... still hung up on The One, with whom I have not had the Define The Relationship Talk yet (I am working on that). In short: same ol' same ol'.

My NYC crowd is expanding, though - I went with a college friend to a birthday party of a friend of someone she had met on the internet, and the whole group ended up being AWESOME, so I'm planning to spend a lot of time with them from here on out. Downside: they all live in Queens. Oh well. Guess my MetroCard is getting a workout this summer!

I'm not sure when parents began telling their children this myth, but "get good grades = go to a good college = get a good job after graduation" is a dirty damned lie, and I do not appreciate it. I have had a full-time, permanent job with health benefits (the ultimate goal, right?) for a measly 5 months out of the 3 years since I graduated. It shouldn't be this hard, I shouldn't have to hustle like I am right now, collections agencies should not be calling me about my student loans. The jobs race is a "right connection, right place, right time" game of luck and it's getting old really fast. Argh. #rantover

Collision

So! Work is finally boring enough that I feel somewhat comfortable blogging here again. Now to recap the last 2 months of my life. Blehhhh.

On the top of the list is the fact that I never posted about The One's visit, other than some lame drabble about how I was hopeful about things in general. Now, a lady doesn't kiss and tell, and neither do I (ha), but suffice to say that it was 18 hours of joy that I haven't felt in a long time. I was on Cloud 9, or 10, or some exclusive cloud that you hipsters haven't even heard of, and still am every time he calls or texts. The Ring is back on my left hand, I'm not even interested in anyone else... I know I'm putting all my eggs in one basket and risking a LOT of heartbreak, but I've never felt this way about ANYONE and I refuse to be scared.
The voicemail I got a few weeks later is still haunting me a bit - we talked a few days after I posted that entry and he said all the things I was going to say to him about why they're ultimately incompatible and he hasn't been happy in a long time - but she visited him this weekend as her last-ditch attempt to get him back... I'm waiting on his call to reassure me that it's definitely over. So, maybe a little vomit-y.

Lent has begun, and I gave up music on my commute (read: no earbuds) in an attempt to pray more, and more regularly. It's sort of working, but 3-ish weeks in I'm starting to run out of things to say to the Big Guy. So starting today I'm going to ATTEMPT to stop cursing. Basically I'm taking my laundry list of things I regularly go to Confession for (cursing, never praying, etc) and trying not to do them ... seems reasonable, right? We'll see.

After a long, busy winter (which apparently is not over yet, stupid March doesn't realize that it's supposed to be spring now) I am finally taking some time to myself to stay at home and cook my own meals and watch TV shows on the night they air. The One told me before I moved here that "your apartment is just a place to hang your hat," but sometimes I need to spend a few consecutive evenings with my hats. Which means possibly, maybe? more blogging to come in the near future! I really will try. I don't give myself NEARLY enough time for introspection and at least having a few people bugging me about updates motivates me a little bit. Keep it up, nags! ;)

Ok, let's see if I can sneak out of work early...

Up, Down, Left, Right

So I've been totally lazy about updating, because I've been burning the candle at both ends, and also on the sides. Since taking my new position at The Company, my hours have been extended from 10-6 to 9-6 (that would be bare minimum, folks, assuming that something desperately urgent and moderately complicated doesn't land on my desk at 5:55pm like it did on Thursday)... and there must be something in the air, because everyone seems to want to go out and be social after work. I'm completely exhausted at all times. Better than being bored, I guess?

I've recently volunteered to stage-manage a friend's show. I haven't stage-managed since high school and I'm kind of nervous that I'm going to fuck it up, but it's a great hobby/activity to fill my weekends and evenings now that my second job is on brief hiatus. I know I have potential to be a total workaholic, but I feel positively guilty for spending more than one evening in a row on the couch.

Another... ahem... development: the boy situation. The One will be visiting in the very near future, and I'm hoping that "can I crash on your couch?" turns into the same situation that it turned into last time. I'm telling him how I feel this time, mostly because I recently came to the conclusion that there's no chance of my ever getting over him unless he outright rejects me, and he will always be so special in my heart that there's a really great chance that I could fall in love, get married... and then cheat on my poor unsuspecting husband with and because of him. Terrible, right? So I have to tell him. Gulp.

I also have two - well, one kinda - boy situation(s) in the wings. One is the boy I posted about a couple weeks ago... and the other... We text/IM/talk every single day, but I've heard from mutual friends that he lives with his girlfriend. I find it hard to believe that anyone living with their significant other would be able to get away with texting someone first thing in the morning, and into the wee hours of the morning, but what do I know? Plus, he and the first guy are friends, so hooking up with Boy#2 would probably ruin my chances with Boy#1 (but not vice-versa). As much as I like to pontificate about how much I hate drama, blah blah blah, it's been a long time since I've had boy problems, and I have to admit that it makes me a little bit happy.

I will attempt to update more often now that the dust is beginning to settle a bit. Here's hoping, anyway.

Lame Excuses

Well hello hiiiiiiii faithful reader(s) who obviously wait with bated breath each day for my fabulously entertaining blog posts that pretty much never seem to come. Your patience has been rewarded! Here is a blog post! Mostly I am just swamped with work, and my calendar is fuller than ever (example: January's calendar so far):

So yes, exhausted.

But here! Here's a gorgeous picture from last night's White House State Dinner. I want those chairs where do I get those chairs I MUST HAVE THEM.

Lipstick and Caviar

Hello! Well hi! Nice to see you again, blog. It's been a while... life gets so freaking distracting and exhausting and sometimes all I can summon up the energy for is the initial hit of the "power" button on the remote. (My room is a disaster, the bathroom is even worse.)

Basically I've been running on little-to-no sleep since the Harry Potter premiere on Thursday night, and I'm just sort of hanging on. It's been fun, though, and I bought my first Christmas present (for my supervisor, the most perfect onesie for her fetus) on Saturday and I am really REALLY into Christmas right now. I'm packing my workdays this week as full as I can get them so I can begin to make up for the lost wages of being a temp instead of a salaried employee with paid holidays. So, I guess I'm checking in now and putting it out there that I will probably not be posting tomorrow.

But I am super excited to make a full, traditional Thanksgiving dinner all by myself this week... I'm wondering if the loneliness that most people figure I'm feeling will ever kick in - the idea of spending a holiday on one's own is typically this horrible fate that crazy ladies share with their cats - but I'm not feeling sad about it at all. I imagine this will change if my turkey catches on fire or something, but the anticipation of accomplishing a feat such as T-Giv is a total upper. I will definitely be posting about Mr Turkey's delicious demise.

Lorem Ipsum

Agggghhhh so busy!! Writing from work, which I try to avoid because I am not awesome enough yet to have an office (or, for that matter, a computer screen that doesn't face the general public), but I've got so much on my plate but - despite never even attempting to commit to NaBloPoMo or whatever it's called - I feel a serious need to make sure I still blog every day, no matter what. Otherwise I get all lazy and fat and ... wait, we're talking about the gym now too, huh?

Getting more and more confident that I'm going to be at this job for the long haul as I'm asked to take on more and more projects. Of course, that winds up with my feeling slightly off-kilter - NOT aided by the sun setting so much earlier, thanks very much Winter - and overloaded and a little stressed, but I was just asked to help research/arrange site visits of potential Christmas-party venues, so... event planning is maybe a tiny sliver of my life now?

So last night I went brunette again! My highlights had been growing out for some time (I had at least two inches of roots) and I was ready to go a little darker for winter, and now it's a gorgeous dark brown with a hint of red. I feel very sexy. My coworker is trying to set me up with the cute nerdy guy in the office and I feel like makeovers are a really good way to spark a beginning. So we'll see how that goes. And tonight I'm grabbing drinks with old coworkers and I'm SO pumped for that... And tomorrow a good friend from my UNC days is coming up for an interview and we're going to hang out. Wooooo exciting weekend!! (Except the week's not over, it's only Thursday, and I could really use a nap right about now. Or 8 full hours of sleep. Whatever. Not picky.)

So, how're you? What's going on with you? Pull that cozy [imaginary] armchair up to this delicious crackling fireplace [oh so *sob* imaginary] and tell me all about YOU! (You're not pregnant or engaged, are you? Everyone else I know is!)

Don't STOOOOOOOOOOOP!

Isn't having weird dreams a sign of being pregnant? I know for a fact that I am NOT prego, but I've had some doozies lately! Which means, necessarily, that I am very suddenly into dream interpretation. One thing I've heard about interpreting dreams is that if someone you know is in your dream, that person symbolizes a certain part (personality trait, time period, etc) of your life.

So what in the world does it mean when you start dreaming about being in the cast of Glee?? Ha.

Apparently I was a girl who never really got solos, not because her voice was bad but because Rachel/Mercedes always got them, and during a performance (at my high school, no less... *shudder*) of the song featured below, I somehow knew that Mercedes wasn't going to do her big diva thing (if you listen to the song you'll know exactly what I'm talking about) so I went for it... And I was the total hero, everyone was lifting me up on their shoulders and talking about how awesome it was. So, I don't even know where to begin trying to interpret that one.

Y'all ever have bizarro dreams? Start dreaming about TV shows?

walking/stumbling/on these shadowfeet

Argh/blargh, I've been neglecting the blog again. Between hustling like CRAZY at work, friends in town, getting sick, and an unexpected, impromptu trip back home for a friend's wedding, I have been over-exhausted and under-inspired. It's not like I'll lie and say that I was "too busy" - being broke means spending a LOT of time at home on the couch - but work has taken a lot out of me and sometimes it's all I can do to lift the remote and zone out with Jersey Shore and mindless internet games.

I missed the 5-month anniversary of moving here too (this time only by one day, though, hooray!) but now that I'm entering my 6th month in NYC, life is finally starting to turn around. I have a lot more job security even though I'm still technically a temp, and I even begged for and subsequently received a substantial raise. So now I can actually make rent on time every month! And maybe even have money for food AND winter boots! *spirit fingers*

I'm still not really sure who's reading this with any regularity, so I'm not certain what to write about... Work has basically been my entire life lately. They even asked me to help out at what amounts to their food festival, both at the front door/VIP list and as a brand representative - so I got to meet a lot of (famous) people and interact a lot and basically be on the front lines of an event, which is exactly why I moved here. Plus I was invited by my boss to my very first Fancy New York Cocktail Party (tm) and basically felt very glamorous until my wicked hangover at work the next morning.

I feel like I'm finally starting to come out of this deep slump I've been in for years. Losing my job in NC is where it all started - I feel so depressed when I'm not doing anything in my life, and now it's all starting to turn around. I actually was somewhat productive yesterday, which is basically a Saturday miracle. So, yay me! Maybe this means I'll start feeling inspired to write more often... but I'd love to know who's reading. Drop me a note in the comments box if you are.. and maybe what you'd like to hear about? I'm assuming that if you read this blog, you already know me personally (and therefore read shorter updates on Facebook)... so what landed you here?

Coupla things:

1. I just got my second mosquito bite since moving here. Quite an accomplishment, really, considering the bite-ridden hell I lived through every summer in NC. Except now that I'm here in NYC, I panic every time I feel itchy because I'm convinced that I'm going to have a bedbug infestation and go broke and die.
   
2. OMG OMG OMG I HAVE AN INTERVIEW AT ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS/IMPORTANT MAGAZINE COMPANIES IN THE WORLD!!!! Just checked my email and found out :D  Also I'm surprised at the turnaround time - I only applied two weeks ago!
   
3. I have finally indulged my vanity and have installed SiteMeter at the bottom of the blog so I can see how many people view my blog every day. Yes, I'm vain and insecure, but I'm okay with that. I just wanted to give you the heads-up - if you've been stalking me, I will know about it (and stalk you right back! I love followers) :)

wtf.

Despite the fact that I have the icon right in the middle of my Chrome quick-launch bookmark bar (which is not well-described at all, I know, sorry), I still manage to forget about this thing. I've figured out how to do scheduled posts, so maybe one night when I'm not getting hammered on a rooftop (last night) or running ALL OVER MIDTOWN ALL DAY LONG looking for a vuvuzela or a cute pair of black flats or a cute purple top to match the boots I bought a few weeks ago (tonight), I'll sit down and hack a few out for the future. Kind of like making & freezing 5 casseroles the week you leave for a business trip so your husband won't feed the kids pizza and cheerios every night. Except no kids or husband, just you poor starving fans of the blog. Who never leave comments.


Anyway. Not much has reeeeeeally happened, except I have a wicked crush on this guy at work, but he's dating a girl that a few people in the office know or are roommates with, so I can't get all homewrecker. Not that I would. But maybe it would be REALLY bad if I did. But he's really cute and I totally smile when I see him, which is nice because I'm chronically undercaffeinated and he seems to help. Not that I'm convinced he knows my name yet, but whatever.

Um. No, that's pretty much it. I went to Baltimore this past weekend (where wonderful pictures like this one were taken) and was just NOT ready to



AND HOLY CRAP I JUST WENT TO FACEBOOK TO GANK A PICTURE AND MY GRANDMOTHER IS ENGAGED. THAT IS ALL.



leave the city yet... It's really starting to feel like home and I adore it.
Picture in question:

THIS is why I moved to New York

In the space of three days, I have landed a job AND met a cute boy. I'm pretty certain it won't turn into anything more than a couple dates, but I'd almost forgotten how much fun kissing is. And making out on the streets of Manhattan at 2 in the morning is pretty fun. :)

This post is not inspiring enough to have an awesome title

Oh whoops, I have a blog! Hello! Between internet being down in the apartment (due to switching accounts over) and being kinda sick still, I've been sort of out of it. Although I've still managed to check ONTD every day, surprise surprise.

Things going on:

I found a job!! FINALLY! Right now it's only temp-to-hopefully-perm, but I can't imagine they won't like me and want to officially hire me. I'll be a receptionist/assistant at a branding/marketing firm that seems really cool and chill and awesome. They have big-name clients but they're all really laid-back. Not making much money, either, but once I have my schedule down pat, I'm going to grab a second job hopefully. Hostessing is probably my favorite option. So we'll see.

The One called. He calls every 3 or 4 weeks or so, and it's always lovely to hear from him. We got into real-deep-true-life stuff this week, which doesn't always happen, and we have a lot more in common than I thought we did in some important areas of our lives. I wish he would wake up and see that I'm really good for him. The whole long-distance thing is shit, but I guess there's not much we can really do about that.

...Um. That's kind of it. I'm just sort of living life, exploring the city as much as my body will let me. (After a particularly long day of wandering through the financial district and getting lost in Chinatown, I drank a full quart of Gatorade in, like, 10 minutes flat.) Watching Netflix movies a lot. Hanging out with The Best Friend. Already it's turning out to be a wonderful summer (if a little more humid than I was expecting).

Ah yes! Zachary Quinto will be off-Broadway in Angels In America this fall. Tickets are only $20. $20!!! Cannot wait.

So that concludes my blog post about pretty much nothing. \:D/

SHOES. Let's get some shoes.

People look at my heels all the time and gape in horror. "How do you WEAR those all the time??" I don't have anything over 4-ish inches, by the way. It shouldn't terrify people. The ones I wear the most are 3 inches. Stilettos, though, which I'm sure freak people out. I actually find them easier to wear than straight platforms, which don't let me feel the ground as well (and therefore I misjudge and trip more often). Heels with platforms are fine. Whatever.

A few weeks ago, I was home for an extended weekend with my family (the one where they told me they were separating, not the disastrous 6 hour voyage home the following weekend when the Bombshell dropped) and I was walking back from the restroom to the table at which we were sitting. My mom watched me and said, "Gee, you walk so much more ladylike now!" She used to get on my case for, I don't know, walking like a man or something. Apparently I was clomping everywhere and my arms were funky. The difference? HEELS. Dear lord, stilettos. Thank god for stilettos. Everyone looks better in stilettos.

There is no point to this post except that stilettos > platforms. I just wanted to tell all of you. Because clearly I am a fashion expert ;)

You know you're undersexed and overtired when...

I have this sometimes recurring dream that I live in this alternate universe where I'm a supernatural being, and I can look at someone and sense if they are supernatural (that is, I see them for what they are instead of just seeing their disguise). It's kind of a cool recurring dream to have, as most of them seem to involve me either fighting or running from some pretty crazy demons - the main one has the legs of a goat, Percy Jackson-style (OH GOD THAT PICTURE IS BAD).

Last night was no exception, but it got cool when I at one point (and for no reason at all) ran into Natalie Portman in a hallway, and took pictures with her. It got even COOLER when I realized that I was Sookie from True Blood, and apparently I was the Sookie at the point in the book series where she is in a (highly sexual) relationship with Eric. WHY DID I WAKE UP. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Also, me and my brother Jason were planning a party. Basically it's my DREAM dream. Also I cannot WAIT until True Blood is on TV again... I think Season 3 starts in June?

*thump*

Boy am I exhausted. As far as posting goes... if I were ever both 1) in my apartment and 2) with a functioning computer, I would have more time to post. As it is, weddings and a full social calendar have kept me almost too busy to stand. I'm visiting my parents this weekend, where a LOT is going to happen, but the laptop (finally, I think, 100% back online) will be coming with me.

So I guess we'll see?

Wedding Recap part 1 - the aftermath

Something I've always struggled with is being authentic when a hot guy is around. I don't know why it is - maybe it's in response to my insecurity about my looks - but if I'm around someone I'm attracted to, I can tend to be very conscious of my behavior and not let go and be goofy or say what's on my mind for fear that he'll lose interest (even if he was never "interested" in the first place).

I just realized, though, that I completely let go and had a good time and was able to be myself around Mr Wedding Date. It's very easy to be myself around him, probably because he laughs at - no kidding - 95% of my jokes (!!!). Maybe it's a clue that I'm not romantically interested in him (while he's hot as hell, I can't really see us ever actually dating just due to distance and what the girls he usually dates look like), or maybe it's something deeper, and I'm finally getting to a place where I'm so comfortable in my own self that I just don't CARE if a guy doesn't like what he sees/hears. I'm totally insane, and I realize this, and if a guy doesn't like it, he can suck it. It'd be nice to be Inflatable Girl, who every guy takes one look at and falls in love with, but "with great hotness comes great crazy" (Hot Girl Theorem). I'm actually fun to be around, and not cuckoo or maladjusted, and I know I'm a great catch. If a guy doesn't see that right away... too bad, I suppose.

But either way, it's nice to have a hot guy friend that I can really be myself with.

There's a lot more to say about the wedding, but I have errands to run with Mr Wedding Date before he leaves, and literally 7 days of unwatched shows saved that I need to watch TODAY before the new episodes start taping and eating all the space on the DVR. So I'll talk to you all soon (and I'll fix the podcast, Liz, don't worry)!

D'awwwwww

Hee hee hee cutest thing EVER.

Oof.

I'm here! I'm alive!! It's been a busy, stressful week, especially for someone who doesn't even have a job. Recap: This city is destroying my car, can't wait to sell it and get out here, computer viruses can SUCK MY DICK, but I have awesome friends.

No energy or inspiration for an update, but it's been a long time, so... yeah. Maybe a podcast coming soon. And by "soon" I mean "when I finish wading through my DVR and my long-neglected blogs and feel like a human being again."

A Moment of Honesty, or, A Very Dashboard Kind Of Day

I am very susceptible to the weather - cloudy/cold/rainy days leave me in the doldrums. And since I haven't seen the sun in what is actually days and feels like weeks, I've been feeling particularly melodramatic recently. It doesn't help that I just found out my sort-of crush has not-just-platonic feelings for the same girl that steals ALL my crushes away. (I hate beautiful girls)

I am very lucky to have a best friend who can talk me down off the ledge and tell me all my faults in a kind, constructive way. For all the bravado I exhibit in public, I'm totally insecure and uneasy in my own skin. Body Dysmorphia is a condition where one will look at him/herself in the mirror and see someone MUCH fatter than the reality of the reflection. I am the exact opposite - the second I walk away from the mirror, I forget what I actually look like and fully believe that I'm about 5'5" and 110lbs. (Weird, right?) But everyone has fat days, I guess, and I'm particularly unmotivated to hit the gym right now DESPITE the wedding I'm going to in two weeks.

Blerrrrrrg word vomit.

Don't get me wrong - life is wonderful, but the blips tend to hit me pretty directly in the face. Maybe I just need to obsessively clean everything for a couple days. Like, bust out the Pledge. Learn Russian. The whole deal. That should help.

For your time:

Yum.

Douchebag

There are times at which seemingly contradictory actions actually complement each other. Example: Washing your hair, then putting conditioner in it (this is, by the way, the secret to my gorgeous flowing locks. Why my mother never taught me this, I'll never know).

At all other times, it's just WRONG.