Note to self: You are not as young as you used to be. Weekday drinking is not a good idea anymore.
I got in early yesterday, determined to squeeze a couple extra hours into my timesheet and save up for my New Year's trip to Disney World. I was immensely productive for about an hour and a half, until an email came sailing into my inbox that informed us that my division of The Company would be moving out of The Company altogether and into its sister company, effective immediately. Now, nowhere in the press release did it say that Sister Company was actually a sister company, so I spent the rest of the day in a panic because I did not want to leave The Company (or my hot boss). Today's pre-productivity Googling calmed my fears a little bit, and I may not actually have to move out of the office I'm in right now. No one actually knows what's going on* right now, and this of course makes me feel like my job security/future at The Company is circling the drain... but for now I'm okay.
Now, bad things never hit just one at a time.
A couple hours later, I was checking my personal email accounts when I saw that The Artist Formerly Known As Dad had emailed me. Since The Incident, his few emails have been forwards with no personal message. But, as usual, my heart stuttered to a stop. I opened up the email and it was actually a full-page letter containing an almost-but-no-cigar apology. (I'm uploading it at the bottom of this post.) Several days late, several dollars short. So I forwarded it to my mom, and texted her to call me as soon as she'd read it.
Keep in mind, please, the adage "Good things come in threes." This is true, but very bad things also come in threes.
Mom called me, and was somewhat pleased with the letter - mostly, I imagine, because it was the closest thing that we've gotten so far in the way of an apology - but then proceeded to tell me that MY BROTHER IS IN JAIL FOR HIS SECOND DUI. I mean, say whaaaaaa? So, technically now he's out of jail - his girlfriend's parents bailed him out when Mom wouldn't - but STILL. And he got fired from the movie theater job he's had for 18ish months because they caught him taking a $20 out of the till. Naturally, he has a "good explanation" for that, but come on. So my mom is devastated and pissed over this, and is laying the guilt on me pretty thick, begging me to move back home... Ugh. (As if, though - I'm here to stay.)
So after all that, I knew that the day was over at 3:30. I wasn't going to get any more work done. So I left, went to St. Patrick's Cathedral and cried for a while in front of St. Jude, then headed home by way of the liquor store, wine shop, and grocery store. Drank a tumbler of bourbon, a bottle of champagne, and made both spaghetti & meatballs (first time!) and my famous pumpkin cheesecake (has a weird flavor?) ... So the evening was okaaaaaay, I suppose, because I wasn't thinking about all the shit going on in my life.
I'm so tired of life being hard. I see so many people who have beautiful, charmed lives, clearly blessed by God and in possession of very few major worries. Then there's our family. And yeah, my life is great and beautiful in comparison to a lot of people and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But then awful shit happens, generally all at once, and I start to wonder what I'm doing to warrant such violent moodswings.
So that's what's going on in my life. I hope you're all having better weeks than me.
*This is no way to run a business, in my opinion. If you're going to issue a press release to the general public, make sure you have all the answers before you release that statement, so your panicked employees don't start freaking the fuck out because you haven't finalized all the details yet. I mean, HELLO??
LetterToAllison-JonathanReSeparation-Oct2010
No comments:
Post a Comment