So, I went out with former coworkers last night, and in attendance was my makeout buddy, with whom I (surprise) make out with when we're drunk. He's a sweet guy but no one I could see myself dating (one word: baggage) (another two words: New Jersey), but we get along great and have fun. So, this morning I woke up and was checking facebook and saw that another coworker had posted the following status/tweet:
I assume he's talking about us, considering that most of the people there were in relationships. So I posted this reply:
God WHY do I always leave early and miss these things??!?!??
Which I think is the perfect non-chalant, subtle denial. Because (a) we do not hook up, and (b) ... We do NOT hook up.
Lately I've been starting to feel guilty about the whole thing... I am self-aware enough to know that I'm really only behaving this way because I want the attention without the emotional attachment, but that's such a shitty thing to do. I never want to be accused of "using" someone but that's precisely what I'm doing, and it feels AWFUL. So I need to cut myself off - I just wish there were an easy way to do it without him feeling like it's personal/I'm irrational/whatever, because it's not/I probably am/??.
Stupid Facebook. At least said "other coworker" (the one who posted on Facebook) does NOT name names. I've tried to coax/bully/wheedle names out of him before - especially after the epic company party this summer - to no avail... so I'm hoping for similar zipped-lippedness when it's my personal life.
Also, HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEE
No comments:
Post a Comment