Clutching

I've been a bit desperate lately for what (in earlier days) I would've called "the restoration of the joy of my salvation" - that is to say, I've been feeling stale and uninspired and deadened in my faith life. I even stopped going to Mass right around the time Lent started, which is very obviously a Big Deal for me. I can't put my finger on why it's happened, especially because I've been blessed so hugely and am aware every day of Who has given me these blessings and such a wonderful life. So I've been praying for a revival, and I think it may be beginning.

Part of this has to do with a renewed interest in Catholic blogs, which pulled me through one of the darkest periods of my life a few years ago. I found this blog just now, linked from one of the best blogs out there, and almost cried at my desk. An excerpt from this entry:

The liturgy as we have it now has nothing to do with the Second Vatican council. In fact, the liturgy that most people assume is the “Mass of Vatican Two” is in direct defiance of that great and inspired Council. Inspired by a rebellious clergy, the better part of a billion people have ended up thumbing their noses at the work of the Council. That is my sorrow. The promise of my youth has been betrayed. Much of the Council has never been implemented. Instead, we Latin rite Catholics now have an essentially Protestant framework for the Eucharist.

I don't know what the cause for the darkness was, but I feel it starting to lift, and all I want to do right now is go throw myself at the foot of the Cross (a familiar theme for those of you who read my Holy Cookie blog when it was still active) and cry out my frustrations and sins.