Fluidity

So, here's something that's been pissing me off lately. And maybe it's a bit Old Meme, but with Johnny Weir and all the ridiculousness that's been going on with the homophobic commentators, I would just like to vent. I do need to preface this by saying that (1) I usually hate people that go into internet-rages on behalf of a community they are not a part of; (2) I deal with a lot of conflicted emotions concerning sexuality because what I personally believe often directly contradicts what my religion teaches. But here we go.

Who on earth thinks they can pigeonhole someone just because they identify as part of the LGBT community?? Between Johnny (<3) and Adam Lambert's kerfluffle with Out Magazine a couple months ago, there's this idea that all gay men (et al) need to fall into some sort of predefined set of categories - bear, flamboyant, twink, gold star, etc. - or they are not really gay. I haven't been as present on the blogs this past week as I usually am, so I don't know if there's been any backlash yet because Adam and Ke$ha (still pains me to type her name, even though I love her music) made out last week. I assume there will be, because clearly if you self-identify as gay but you somehow get drunk and kiss a girl OMG THEN U MUST NOT REALY BE GHEY!!!!1!!

Sexuality is so fluid to begin with, and while I can't ever see myself pulling a Lohan and falling in love with a woman (any more than I "fall in love" with the amazing women who are my best friends), I can openly admit that I find some women very attractive. I am only about 68% joking when I say I would "go gay for" Natalie Portman. But who are we to put labels on people? To discuss Lohan further, I must admit that I was a staunch skeptic of her relationship with Samantha Ronson, until it lasted as long as it did and ended the way it did and is still playing out, to a certain extent. I believe she was as surprised as anyone else when she fell for a woman, but clearly it was meaningful and true in the same way that it is meaningful and true when Lambert started talking about his "crush" on Ke$ha. (Lambert has been quoted in the past as saying "A crush is a very nonthreatening thing.")

I'm so over homophobia. My mother likes to ask me if one of my closest friends (who is gay) was sexually abused as a child, because that's why children "grow up to be gay." I want to punch her in the face (IRONY!!) every time she brings up homosexuality, because she just WON'T understand. I'm pretty sure she's still living in the days of the, like, DSM-2, where it was considered a mental defect and abnormality. Sorry lady, the DSM-5 is almost upon us (May 2013!). Get with the times.

To discuss Weir further: Sure, he's flamboyant and effeminate and silly and probably-gay. However, this insistence of the media to (1) out him when he has clearly said that it's no one's business, or (2) question his actual gender identity, or (3) criticize him because he won't out himself, is infuriating for those of us who love him BECAUSE he won't out himself simply because everyone wants him to.

I am the last person who should be talking about a need to get away from labels. I need for things to be in a neat little box, and it's frustrating for me when BioDad won't outright tell me what his religion is or what he believes. However, my GBF doesn't need to tell me whether he's a top or a bottom just because I'm nosy and want to know, and it is certainly not my place to ask. The American public has a right to make assumptions based on what they've seen. If they're right, they're right; if they're wrong, then everyone on the inside gets a good chuckle. But why thrust it into the spotlight and make everyone uncomfortable and expose our national homophobia? Now we all look like a bunch of ignorant bigots.