The reality of it all

Sidebar before we get started: I am not fully awake yet. Yes, I realize it's 2:30 in the afternoon, but sometimes being unemployed means that you can blow off showering until after you're done watching reruns of The Nanny and blogging about your feelings. I promise I'll shower right after this. End sidebar.

Hokay, so. A week or ish ago, I blogged about my parents' marriage. Never been great, should've split up a long time ago, blah blah blah. But this past weekend, during my mandatory (why is it still mandatory? don't ask me) hour-long phone home, I called her earlier than usual and she was broken down in hysterics. Not that that hasn't happened before, but it's been a couple months, so I was concerned. My mother likes to be either very vague or very explicit when she's talking about her sufferings and tribulations, and this week the dial was spun to very vague. However, I did manage to figure out that there were decisions to be made, they involved my father, and they were very very VERY hard to make.

So I went from "oh about 65% sure my parents are getting divorced, no biggie, been that way for a while" to "HOLY CRAP this is 96% sure happening." Still not broken up about it really, and maybe I shouldn't be blogging about it, but hopefully this is the blog my mother WON'T find. (Making the last one private REALLY sucked.) But this is going to be really complicated. I had to break it to my brother, who wasn't all that surprised, but then again neither was I. We've both seen it coming, and more than once hoped it would've happened sooner. But holidays are going to be really complicated, and without Dad around, she's going to need to talk to and depend on us a LOT more.

She's always been fragile, I guess, and knowing what I finally think might be the "full story" (although there are so many skeletons buried in my family's closet that I may never know for sure; someone's always lying to someone else around here) I can't say I blame her. But I'm not ready for her to put even MORE of her eggs in my basket. I'm full to overflowing already, and the eggs have been rotten for a long time.

Here, have some music for your time.