2.08.2010

Standards

So, I went on a "date" this weekend. And I do mean "date" in quotation marks, because I'm starting to realize things about myself and one of those things is that I really do like to be treated like a princess, despite my insistences that I don't like cheesy romantic things. I still don't really - if you start serenading me, THE DATE IS OVER - but there a couple things that are going to improve your chances of a second date.
  1. BE ON TIME. Good god. This is pretty much the most important part of a date. I am a freak and actually get everywhere EARLY, which I admit is something I need to work on, but come on. If you pick me up 30 MINUTES LATE, you are on very, very thin ice already. As my friend Lori says, "A number of things in this world are VERY much worth being on time for. What you are saying to me if you are late is that I am not one of those things. I am not worth being on time for. And if I am not worth being on time for, YOU are not worth waiting for. Doesn't that seem fair?"
  2. Open the door for me. Maybe it was because I'd known this guy for so long that it would've been weird, I'm not sure. But for future reference, guys who date me should be chivalrous in this tiny little area. Yes of course I can do it myself, and you don't have to do it forever (should this date turn into several dates or even a relationship), but the gesture is near-necessary on the first date.
  3. Pay for dinner. This is a first-date thing ONLY, and I will always offer to pay my share and I will mean it, but it will make up for not opening the door or being late (well, it'll definitely make up for not opening the door).
It's highly possible that my standards are too high and I don't date often enough so I have no grip on reality, but I think I'm a pretty awesome catch and I deserve to be treated like one.

Also, don't get me wrong, the date was fun because this guy and I have been friends for a loooooong time and we get along really well (as friends), and his friends told me I looked like Drew Barrymore. These are mostly just generalizations. (Except that The Ex was always late and never opened the door for me either, so...)

2 comments:

Liz Koehler said...

I totally agree with this statement:

"I'm a pretty awesome catch and I deserve to be treated like one."

You absolutely deserve to be treated like the amazing girl that you are.

And I couldn't echo your sentiments more about BEING ON TIME. It just shows respect. And guys should realize how excited/nervous/anxious girls get for first dates or special events. And if you're going to go to all the effort of making yourself look like a goddess, you want to be able to show it off for as long as possible!

I feel like the door thing can go either way. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable, (like if I feel like the guy is being way too obvious about his chivalry -- hard to explain, but I'm sure you know the type), but other times it's sweet. And every girl is entitled to her own opinion about this. Some guys are just oblivious, though, and I don't think we can hold it against them. And maybe your troubles in this case can be blamed on the fact that you've known him for so long, and it might be awkward for him to go from the friend zone to the opening-the-door zone. I think this applies to the paying for dinner thing as well. I feel bad letting a guy pay all the time, but if you are going to HIS formal and you are HIS date then I think that you should be on HIS tab.

My two cents.

Cookie said...

Well, luckily he did pay for dinner... But this was technically a second date, and on the first one he tried to hook up with me. So I'm not sure how the friend-zone thing works at this point.

PS: No third date. I went to the formal because he needed a date and I figured it would be fun, but it's just TOO friend-zone at this point for any hope of recovery.