Hole In My Heart

Losing my dad to the cliche "Another Woman" really infuriates me. On the other hand, one tiny little corner of my heart just wants him back, wants him to come back to me and re-open the chain of communication. When he told me he was with this new woman, I felt exactly the way I felt when I found out that The Ex was sleeping with some new girl less than two weeks after our 3.5-year, we-were-each-other's-first-everything relationship ended. It completely destroyed me, and I was SO angry. I never thought I'd have to experience those emotions again, much less from my own father, who I have always adored. He wasn't just cheating on his wife.

When I went home to comfort my mom after the news broke, my dad walked into the foyer as I was holding our dog and made some cute remark about the dog. I completely ignored him - I had no desire to speak to him. He had bombed my heart, basically, and I was still in pieces. I made no eye contact the entire time, I didn't speak one word to him... I mean, I was furious and heartbroken.

Now, when I was dating The Ex and we would have our fights, he had to learn to come after me even after I stormed off. Women WANT to be followed in that scenario. For all his faults, The Ex DID learn THAT. But when we broke up, he didn't seem to care that I wasn't speaking to him. I had stormed off, and for the first time he didn't follow me. But upon reflection, I'll give him a very small, partial pass - we weren't together anymore. A good FRIEND would/should have followed, so he lost my friendship, but I get it.

It's been over 3 weeks since we all found out about my father's new girlfriend/wife/whatever. He hasn't ONCE tried to contact me. He's not following me after I stormed off. I've lost my father.