Him Again

Every year on May 25 - our "anniversary," as it were - I blog about A.R., the first guy I ever really loved. Today is his 25th birthday, and sometimes I blog then, too. It's a birthday that I will never forget, ever. (Not that I'm particularly bad with dates... although I must confess, The Ex and his little brother were born one day apart, and I had a DEVIL of a time remembering who came when.) I always feel really good about A.R. and the role he played in my life. A lot of guys I had crushes on - I can look back and say, "What was I thinking??" But he was always the perfect model of what I wanted in a boyfriend/husband.

Plus he had these killer sea-green eyes... if you watch Teen Mom (don't judge me) they're like Maci's eyes, or otherwise...

No joke, they were seriously gorgeous. I found my junior prom dress in that color - not that he was my date - and oh baby. Certain songs still remind me of him, and I could point out a few places in my high school town where his ghost still lingers for me. He didn't know until much later how I felt about him, but it's okay. I can realize now that he isn't someone I could've actually married (too much of a workaholic, and something tells me he wouldn't have been receptive to my conversion to Catholicism), but he's the one who unknowingly taught me everything about love and changed the game for me entirely.

He's married now, happily I presume, and (like most guys I had crushes on in high school) got a little fat. I mean, so did I, while we're being honest, but hey. And I'm still looking for my next A.R., the guy who will take my breath away and make me want to be a better person and make me glad I refused to settle.