Tiger Mother

So, this isn't the drunk blog that I hinted at on Twitter yesterday; I'm actually at work and therefore not drunk. (Although that hasn't necessarily been a given in the past.) But I was too exhausted last night once I finally got home, so... here you are. I'm actually writing this while on hold with American Airlines, which has extraordinarily pleasant hold music. Like, I would illegally download it and listen to it all the time. But I digress. Some of my friends in NC have had a running joke for some time that my life is a series of Things That Only Happen To Me. This is by far the apex of said stories.

So, I recently (about 3 weeks ago now) met and started spending a lot of time with a group of really awesome people. A college friend moved here recently and had spoken with a couple of them about a sublet (it fell through) and they subsequently invited her to a birthday party. She asked me if I was doing anything that night, I wasn't, so off we went. They ended up being Super Cool and now I'm going out to Queens - about a 45-minute train ride away! - roughly 2 times a week for things like birthdays, trivia, etc. That first night, I hit it off with the birthday boy. Nothing major, but we had an awesome conversation and he's totally my type (floppy brown hair, thick-framed glasses, skinny). Saw him again at trivia night a few days later, and I could tell he was sparkin' on me too. Saw him again the next weekend at a housewarming party, and we ended up going back to his place. Standard girl meets boy story, right?

WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. To fill in a little background... there is a girl in the group who is sort of the elected "den mother," if you will (we'll just call her DM), and she has been dating her bf (DM's BF) for a couple years now. They live together.

To add a little clarification for the next few paragraphs, here's a calendar of recent events in Queens:

Friday May 26 - met everyone
Tuesday May 31 - trivia (mutual sparkage)
Wednesday June 1 - dinner with DM's BF
Friday June 3 - housewarming party, hooked up with cute guy
Wednesday June 8 - beer garden
Saturday June 11 - housewarming party, (everything goes wrong)
Tuesday June 14 - trivia, still oblivious
Wednesday June 15- shit hits the fan
Friday June 17 - today

June 1 - DM's BF and I are chatting on facebook; he mentions love of omelets, I mention love (and lack) of ice cream. We agree he will bring me ice cream and I will cook him an omelet. He comes over, said transaction occurs, and he begins to do what appears to be flirting with me. I am slightly confused but we had talked earlier about how the group is generally open-minded and polyamory-friendly/curious so I figure this is what is happening. I am not interested so I play it cool and we eventually call it a night.

June 3 - I hook up with cute guy. I mentioned DM's BF hitting on me, he informs me that he sometimes hooks up with DM. I am unfazed because I do not care who this nice-but-still-relative-stranger guy is hooking up with.

June 8 - beer garden. Cute guy shows up but we hardly interact at all; I am a bit confused as to his feelings about me and our hookup but I have other people to hang out with so I leave it alone.

June 11 - housewarming party (for DM & DM's BF). At the beginning of the night, while sober) am talking to DM's BF about something we are both interested in (a movie?) and I suggest Omelet Night Part 2. Later on, I am drunk and want to hook up with cute guy again. We are still having awesome conversations. I am attempting to not be super obvious about wanting to hook up, but let's face it, I am drunk. So. Pretty much everyone leaves at the same time but he and I go our separate ways.

June 14 - trivia. We are all hanging out in a big group. Cool conversation with cute guy (see a pattern here? he is a really cool guy). I have to leave early. Hug cute guy & DM, go to hug everyone else. Pass cute guy on the way out the door, and he says he will walk me out. (Out of the bar? Oooook.) When we're outside, he kisses me. Good kissing. Like making out on the street. I now am aware that he probably enjoyed hooking up and probably wants to hook up again, am pleased. I leave, he rejoins group. Life appears to be good.

June 15. SHIT HITS THE FAN. I get an email from DM that apparently I was a giant asshole because cute guy is also her second boyfriend, even though they are (obviously) not exclusive, and I was hitting on both of her boyfriends at the June 11 party (see Omelet Night Pt 2, which was NOT a hitting-upon), and she felt disrespected, and I needed to be more considerate of her special relationship with cute guy. None of which I knew about, because while she and I had had about 3 conversations to date about her poly relationship with DM's BF, at no point did she ever say "secondary boyfriend" or "also in an open relationship with." I respond respectfully and apologetically, but she replies (we have now moved into FB chat, which combined with the emails now comprises a 4-page document in Word. Skinny margins.) and continues to reply about how upset and disrespected she feels, even though I am apologizing and saying "ok I understand now" in every way I know how. We eventually end the conversation on good terms.

-FIN-

She says the issue is not about my hooking up with him, but my "pursuing him so aggressively in front of [her]" ... I think we can all agree that this is not true? And she is total Jealous Girlfriend? Now, I'm going to continue to hook up with him if I want to (and if he wants to), and I will defer to her status as Den Mother and be more aware of the delicate situation (and maybe not interrupt conversations in order to hit on someone, which is what I have been accused of and probably what happened, considering I was drunk, and is objectively a douchebag thing to do) ... but this is possibly the most absurd situation I have ever been a part of, and therefore the crowning jewel in the Things That Only Happen To Me anthology. So there you go.

I'm seeing them all tonight, and this weekend DM's BF is out of town... so DM is likely going to want to go home with cute guy... which means I plan to steer far clear of them, and only speak when spoken to. *facepalm*
 
Adding new blog tag - DRAMA. Why does it always find me??