Best of Twitter: July 2011

Hangover cure(?): Britney hits on loop. Also: no one should ever trust me with gin.
28 Jul

Going home, going to get VERY DRUNK kthxbye
27 Jul

Frou-frou fro-yo with Redditors before winning it all at our one-year trivia anniversary extravaganza... Life is good.
26 Jul

Someone brought norwegian chocolates to work this morning and I am only discovering the ones with liquor in them. At 9am. #uhoh
26 Jul

Gotta admit that Covert Affairs is not the greatest show but Christopher Gorham got seriously hot at some point. #unf
20 Jul

Oh, the sirens sang so sweet/ And watched the sailors going down/ Oh, you talked to me in siren song/ Yeah anyone would drown
20 Jul

Just booked my tickets to Ashleigh & Justin's wedding!! Also I will have a 4.5-hour layover in Boston, any natives have any ideas?
19 Jul

Watching The Marriage Ref solely because it's a full hour of @sethmeyers21. What more could a girl ask for??
17 Jul

Only worked 45 hours this week, felt like 90, ok going to bed now bye.
15 Jul

Unsurprisingly, I started bawling my eyes out at the exact same time in both book and movie. SO. GOOD. Epilogue: hilarious.
15 Jul

The gays just started cheering for Sarah Jessica Parker in her commercial for some nonprofit. Love.
15 Jul

All the Chelsea gays in this theater know each other. Hilar.
14 Jul

Speed-reading HP7 in the theater (which has no stadium seating and also, like, no people)... Best ever
14 Jul

PS "Not my daughter you bitch!!!" is gonna be the greatest moment in a movie theater EVER.
14 Jul

Dear god, please clone me, that is the only way I will not have to go straight from work to the Harry Potter premiere kthx.
14 Jul

Free sushi lunch then popping over to Tiffany's (if one can even do such a thing!) to buy nice things... Ahhhhh best day ever
14 Jul

Half-drunkenly dashing all the way to Chelsea to buy Harry Potter tickets because procrastinating is what I do best? Obvs.
13 Jul

Ok, a hard week only calls for two things: stiff drinks and KFC. Which is worse: proudly indulging in KFC, or hiding your to-go bag inside a Trader Joe's bag? Totes not me, asking for a friend.
13 Jul

What is the point of an "express" train if I could walk home faster? PLEASE can it be Friday? Why isn't it Friday??
12 Jul

I feel like I have worked a full week in these past two days. Are you SURE tomorrow isn't Friday?? #earningmypaycheck #oof
12 Jul

Should know better by now than to say "I thought I'd seen it all," but... making spitballs on the train? REALLY??
10 Jul

"Scrabble's a good date. If she can't spell, I don't want to hang out with her." -Justin Timberlake #OMGSOULMATES
8 Jul

30 more minutes until I am finding myself a stiff martini somewhere.
7 Jul

Penne a la vodka = closest thing I'm getting to alcohol for another 6 hours #waaambulance #whitegirlproblems
7 Jul

6th floor of Chanel = panic room. What day is it where am I what is going on ahhhhhhhhhhhh
7 Jul

Won't lie, part of me mourns the incoming Manhattan IHOP, but most of me just wants chocolate chip pancakes.
6 Jul

Ahhhhh just landed in NYC, I am sad to see the vacation end but I could kiss the smog-laden ground. #homesweethome
5 Jul

Au revoir, #vacation - you were desperately needed and will be sorely missed. Now: airports for the remaining 12 hours. Woo.
5 Jul

Gin martini = exactly what I needed. Also it was REALLY strong :D #drunkatnoon
3 Jul

Mass = awful, drive downtown = awful... Now brunch with (both) parents is threatening to be more of the same :/
3 Jul

OMG movie nachos #vacation
2 Jul

Nothing sounds sweeter than listening to someone booking you a deep-tissue massage. #vacation
2 Jul

Aaaand my mom just poured her coffee creamer into my diet coke. Who's awake? Not us! #vacation
1 Jul

OMG VACATION!!! 6 (mostly) all-expenses-paid days with nothing to do but relax... I have needed this for so long.
29 Jun