Best of Twitter: March 2011

Yep, Mercury is most DEFINITELY in retrograde. FML this whole week blows.
31 Mar

DiNozzo: "I have a better chance of hooking up with Jessica Alba than finding these guys." ISWYDT. #NCIS
30 Mar

It's been a week since I turned off all-but-"mentioned" tweets and DMs, and I'm surprised to report that I don't miss it.
29 Mar

Guy playing "How Great Thou Art" on the MUSICAL SAW in the subway terminal. By far the highlight of my day so far. Also amazing: the lady with purple streaks in her hair... who put purple streaks in her white terrier's hair too. Uh-mazing.
27 Mar

Weird Things On The Train: 300-lb black dude reading a Harlequin romance novel. I shit y'all not. Bodice-ripper cover & everything. Oh lord and it's called "Viking In Love."
25 Mar

RT @heatherteegee Nolan Smith is crying. Kyle Singler can't cry, because vampires can't produce tears.
24 Mar

Well, that was a lot of work for 2 dozen cupcakes... But hot damn these babies are delicious. #winningatworktomorrow
24 Mar

Will Arnett on 30 Rock!! My love, my heart, my darling. <3
24 Mar

Bed Bath & Beyond, here I come!! #dangerous #buyallthethings
24 Mar

It's rain/snowing, it's Monday, and my boss just called me to laugh at me because a (foreign) client called me Cookie. Sigh.
21 Mar

Just tried to text my brother... On the tv remote #sofuckingtired
16 Mar

"He reminds me of a sexy, gentle Bruce Lee." "You just said that because he's the first famous Asian you could think of!!" #caf
16 Mar

"My Two Gay Dads Took Me To Starbucks" #newchildrensbook #overheardinthecafeteria
16 Mar

"God, I'm really nervous about [future] earthquakes in California. THEN WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO RYAN REYNOLDS??" #priorities
16 Mar

What is it about the Times Square subway escalator that they haven't in 5+ months been able to fix it??
15 Mar

ANNA WINTOUR IN THE CAFETERIA!!!
14 Mar

Cast party!!
11 Mar

You know those days when everything seems to effortlessly go your way? I apparently am having one of those YEARS.
10 Mar

Ahhhhhhh OPENING NIGHT!!!
9 Mar

RT @FakeMTA: All trains have given up timely service for Lent. Commuters are asked to be patient and atone for their sins.
9 Mar

RT @adam_overberg Happy "Yes, I Know I Have Something On My Forehead" Day to my Catholics out there!
9 Mar

Had a sexy dream about riding around Chapel Hill in a cab with Hot Boss. I just WONDER where my head's at this morning. (Ha.)
8 Mar

Darren Criss is in the Conde cafeteria. @theboggs I'm looking at you
7 Mar

Loved my vacation. Supremely glad to be back in New York.
7 Mar

I don't think I've ever actually flown out of RDU before this weekend. Not sure how that's possible.
6 Mar

RT @GoKTGo "I see you drivin' 'round town with some Heels I love and I'm like F*CK DOOK!!" GO HEELS!!!!! #unc
5 Mar

Sooooooo pumped from that win! Now I find myself in a grocery store so huge I don't know what to do with myself... Beer run!!!
5 Mar

This one's for you, Eve.
5 Mar

That's it. Kendall's babies are MINE. I will fight you for them.
5 Mar

RT @PaulPabst Duke-UNC on CBS? Poor Dickie V must be at the local Hooters loudly over-hyping this game to the patrons.
5 Mar

That smile on Kendall's face said it all. #fuckdook
5 Mar

Overheard at our table: "TIGER BLOOD!!!" "ADONIS DNA, MOTHERFUCKERS!!"
5 Mar

UNC is #WINNING and it is amazing. I have #Tigerblood in my veins right now.
5 Mar

RT @marianbull: RT @kenlylew: Do it for #evetoday boys. #gotohelldook
5 Mar

I just became the mayor of YOMESH on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ih3T28
4 Mar

This weather is divine, going to a mall, dinner with friends, smashable date to a Jersey Shore party... Today's gonna be amazing!
4 Mar

High point of yesterday: realizing at 10pm that Anthony and I had been at a liquor store before noon. #winning
4 Mar

Hanging out with @lizkooler and our fave hater @adam_overberg
3 Mar

Thought process: "Why is traffic so bad? It's only 5pm... Oh right, most people don't stay at the office til 7pm. Hmm."
3 Mar

Blue skies... Nothin' but blue skies... :)
3 Mar

GOD I missed this place. I feel like I'm on a different PLANET right now. Scratch that - I feel like a different person altogether
3 Mar

Watching the UNC game from my seat on the airplane. I LOVE JetBlue.
2 Mar

Best weekend ever starts tonight!! We'll be starting out around 8 at Goodfella's for the second half of the game - come join us!!
2 Mar