Runway, Week Two: I Say Potato, You Say Hot Tranny Mess

Dear Heidi Klum: Oy vey. The challenge this week was BURLAP SACKS? Let's forget for a moment that there was a brief foray into high-fashion burlap in the mid-90s and Chanel used the rotten stuff for Paris Fashion Week '09... Just because the saying "She would even look good in a burlap sack" exists does not make it a natural or good choice for the show! Whatever happened to making clothes out of Hershey's wrappers or cornhusks?

Anyway - best to worst, in order, with pictures (again, recommending CoolPreviews for this):

• Jonathan - I literally gasped when this came down the runway. I thought it was gorgeous and stayed true to the whole burlap idea without looking like burlap at all. I would totally buy it. The hair was totally hideous, though, and so is that model.
  
• Janeane - Something about that charcoal & maroon combo just DOES IT for me. Or maybe it's the sweetheart neckline. LOVE.
  
• Amy - She won, and I think that's fair - the construction was totally beautiful and done very well, too.
  
• Jay Nicolas - I think this would have been my favorite look, if the bodice had looked more finished. It ended up looking shredded, like when you walk on the hems of your jeans and they start fraying and you pick at them until they're all separated and stringy.
  
• Anthony - Pretty, but a bit boring. Not a lot of risk involved.
• Ben - Meh. Yawn. Zzzzzzzz... (But he switched models! No longer tied to Asian-inspiration manga model! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? Probably more napping.)
  
• Emilio - Really a terrif silhouette, but the pattern left me a little Tetris-y.
  
• Anna - Using the actual potatoes to make a print for the dress was a great idea, but the whole thing was just a little TOO "Little House on the Prairie" for me.
  
• Jesus - I actually thought his dress was really pretty in the front, although the judges were completely right in saying the back made her ass look lopsided. And I don't see what was so scandalous about using as little burlap as possible in the design. HELLO?
  
• Maya - This isn't something I would wear, but it was clearly made well. So, points.
  
• Seth Aaron - Cute, edgy, blah blah blah. Yawn. Plus, I don't think the skirt was flattering at all. ON A MODEL. Hood was interesting.
  
• Mila - Listen, she clearly has talent, but I just don't get her point of view really. If this is her aesthetic, then I am just not a fan, period. Only models could wear this dress, and whether they SHOULD or not is a whole 'nother blog post.
  
• Pamela - I understand why she was cut - there was a serious case of "Oh my god Becky, look at her butt" - but (ha) at least there was some good technique. Oh well.
  
• Jesse - It just looked sloppy, and made the model look lumpy - and the instructions were to make a DRESS.
  
• Ping - SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

At least this season is (to borrow a phrase from Randy "Dawg" Jackson) "one hundred billion million percent" better than last season. New York, Newwwwww Yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk! (Bah bah bah-da-dah.)

Just a couple thoughts, and Project Runway

1. Project Runway!!!!! So excited for this season - they're back in NYC, where they ought to be. (Need I point you to Exhibit A for the prosecution: that the MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES showed up to a challenge last season WEARING FLIP-FLOPS? Didn't think so.)

• Ping is Bat-Shit Crazy. Capital Letters. Not sure how she even got on the show - all she did for her first challenge was throw some fabrics over her model's head, weave MORE fabric into her hair, and teach the poor girl some bizarro "dance moves" to do on the runway. Just... no.
• One of the models, Alison, was shown (on the Models of the Runway show) playing a song on her guitar. It used the word "moondrenched" and it was totally gorgeous. Here's her myspace. The song is called "Dream Dream Dream."
• My favorite designers so far, in order (links are their outfits this week): 
• Emilio - the silhouette was adorable, and I need that fabric, STAT. Also his model was awesome.
  
• Anna - well-made, young, yellow, happy, sunny, cheerful...
• Jay Nicolas -Oh my god that DRESS. I want it! I would wear it EVERYWHERE.
  
• Maya -beautiful fabric (apparently I have a thing for brocade), but it was a little like she memorized Christian Siriano's Runway sketchbook and just copied it. Originality, por favor!
  
• Mila - Fascinating mixing of prints, if not terribly well-made, but mostly I liked her because I'm pretty sure she would hunt me down if I said anything mean about her. Weird sort of "SIEG HEIL!!!" vibe from her that I just can't place.
  
• Janeane - Both outfits she tried this week were pretty awful, but she has a really nice eye for technical detail that I think will work out nicely if she can finish anything on time this season.
• Pamela -pretty in its own way, but she said that it was "youthful" when it was not. I would wear this dress. If I were the Mother of the Bride.
  
• Jonathan - He called his dress "thoughtful." I agree. But I was bored. DON'T BORE NINA!
  
• Anthony - To be honest, I didn't care a bit about his dress (great print, WTF was that pouf on the side?) but he is going to be fun to watch this season.
• The "Had Better Go Home Next Week OR ELSE" list, in order:
• Ping - Again, WTF.
• Seth Aaron - the weirdo, rocker-chick, "Tokyo Chic" or whatever the hell he called it was obnoxious, plus he could very easily be the most annoying male on the show.
• Jesse - the point of a business suit is to look like you're put-together and classy. I guess he didn't get the memo.
• Jesus - A leather evening gown? REALLY?
• Amy - I didn't hate it, per se, but why was there a fabric seashell over her right boob?
  
• Ben - the comic-book thing is going to get old REAL fast.
  

And I would like to go on record and say that I am VERY GLAD that Christiane went home. She had serious promise, and definitely did not have the worst dress of the night, but she was going to be a self-righteous DRAMA QUEEN. ALL CAPS.

2. I am reminded every day of how amazing my life is. I have incredible, supportive, enthusiastic friends that sometimes operate as my personal cheerleading squad. During my freshman year of college, when I would visit my parents back in my hometown, many of my friends would say things like "It's just not as awesome when you're not here!" I was always delighted to hear that, but I secretly hoped that my college friends would say that too. And they do, and I am so lucky.

3. I hate dance clubs. If a bar is usually a bar, and sometimes has a DJ, that's fine, and awesome, and I love that. But dance clubs? No. No no no. Never ever again. (Not in this town, anyway. Willing to give it a shot in New York.)

4. That stupid Jay-Z/Alicia Keys collaboration is really starting to grow on me. He was best on the Linkin Park "Collision Course" album. I really need to steal that from my brother.