Well hello my lovelies. "Last post on Sep. 12," hmm? And the last REAL post about my life was on July 20?? Oops. I've thought a lot about my inattention to this blog, because I really do love it a lot and wanted to keep things fresh, but... between starting a job and trying to maintain SOME sense of a social life (good luck with that, I know I know) my personal internet usage other than facebook has dropped to basically zero.
Two big announcements: I finally landed a full-time permanent job in my career field, and my love life has (very recently!) finally come out of its carbonite freezer.
Job: I'm finally doing what I've always wanted to do - event planning, and that part of it is great. The downside is that it is extraordinarily stressful in a way I never could have anticipated, and my boss micromanages me to the point that I see red from time to time. (To be fair, HER boss micromanages HER, and she's pregnant, so.)
LOVE LIFE!! Obviously I'm way more excited about this, and I'm sure you all are too.
So, back in August, right as I was starting this job, I went to Queens to hang out with all my crazy friends at the Beer Garden, and this cute new guy showed up. He came knowing no one in the group, and we chatted a little bit, and I left thinking "Oh, he's cute!" and friended him on facebook and no big deal. Little did I know that that night would be the last night I would be in Astoria for the next month, as work completely consumed my life and plus my best friend got married and whatnot.
Fast-forward to early October. Sick of not seeing my friends, I posted in the facebook group that all "we" Astorians are in that I would be at the Beer Garden because I missed everyone and I hoped everyone would come out. So, I was sitting there chatting with everyone when all of a sudden who sits down next to me but Amazing Boy. He hadn't said that he'd be there so I was pleasantly surprised... and then the most curious thing happened - something sparked between us. We were making really intense eye contact the entire night and sort of drifted off into our own solar system a couple times to the exclusion of everyone else there. At one point he mentioned The Wire and I said I had heard it was amazing but had never seen it, so he offered his copy of Season 1 and we exchanged numbers in order to make that happen.
Almost a week later I texted him to ask if I could come retrieve his DVDs over the weekend and if he wanted to grab a bite while I was up there. Saturday brunch turned into a 4-hour afternoon of walking, talking, and more intense eye contact, but nothing more than a hug goodbye. Date 0.5
A "casual" (carefully yet spontaneously calculated on my end) encounter at trivia the following Tuesday went similarly, and by Friday night (a week ago today) he texted me and asked me out for dinner and a movie on Saturday night.
We had Italian, we saw 50/50, we wandered around Union Square, we had drinks (cider for me, water for him), and the most physical contact we'd had at that point was him patting my arm -- which was a funny reference from 50/50 -- and I put my hand on his knee for a second. (He is a Nice Guy and I instinctively felt that I shouldn't be an aggressor.) So, we're on Hour Five of our date and it's 1:30am and finally time to get him on his train home. I go to hug him goodbye, and air-kiss by his cheek, and he just turns his head and goes for my lips and it's everything a first kiss should be: awkward, unexpected, and really cute. I grin the whole way home. Date 1.5
He keeps texting "I want to see you again really soon." I'm compulsively checking his facebook page every 6 hours or so just to see his face and show my friends how hot he is. We text-flirt a little on Monday night before I get drunk at the company Halloween party and pass out. At trivia on Tuesday, it's all we can do to try to keep whatever-this-is on the down-low, sitting next to each other but only making physical contact when we think we can get away with it, trying to stop staring at each other, and my leaving early to go to bed.
Texting on Wednesday about the Halloween Parade on 10/31 leads to an actual phonecall, awkward pauses and everything. His roommate's in town for the holiday weekend but he very awkwardly then tells me he wants to see me before that and asks what I'm doing Thursday (last night). So despite the near-freezing temperatures (and near-frozen RAIN) we make it as far as sushi dinner before - obviously - abandoning our plans to walk around Columbia's campus and settling in at my place to watch tv for a few hours, cuddle and kiss. Date 2.5
So Date 3.5 is Monday's parade, and it is killing me that I can't see him until then. I have a gut feeling that this reaction is mutual. Date 4.5 is TBA but we're going to the Met. I don't think I could have dreamed up a better guy -- he's smart (undergrad AND masters degrees from Ivies), makes me laugh, and handsome past what I thought I was capable of pulling. And he's so patient physically - it's nearly unbelievable to me that there is a guy in NYC who isn't pushing for sex immediately. AND HE'S CATHOLIC. I'm pinching myself.
And then there's The One. Haven't forgotten about him, have you? I don't even know what to do. Making it even weirder is the fact that they share a first name. (Oh, the irony.) But there's been distance lately, not just physically but emotionally, and I'm starting to realize that maybe it could have been something if the timing had ever worked, but maybe the chance is gone. A string of strange hookups this summer (including an unfortunate rooftop incident) really spun my head around and brought me to realize that I am ready to quit playing around and I want to take things slowly with a guy that actually means something to me, not just hooking up with guys I don't care at all about. And the minute I made that decision... Amazing Boy dropped into my lap.
Amazing BoyFRIEND? Don't know yet, but the horizon's looking so bright and sunny, and I haven't been this happy in longer than I can remember.
9.12.2011
Vigil
From Gov Chris Christie's (NJ) speech on 9/11/11. Excerpt from Mary Lee Hall's "Turn Again To Life."
If I should die and leave you here a while,
be not like others sore undone,
who keep long vigil by the silent dust.
For my sake turn again to life and smile,
nerving thy heart and trembling hand
to do something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine
and I perchance may therein comfort you.
If I should die and leave you here a while,
be not like others sore undone,
who keep long vigil by the silent dust.
For my sake turn again to life and smile,
nerving thy heart and trembling hand
to do something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine
and I perchance may therein comfort you.
9.06.2011
Best of Twitter: August 2011
Dear Sir & Madam: Perhaps you have confused 1pm with 1am. Gluing your mouths together - even while in luvvv - is putting me off my lunch.
31 Aug
"Some people need their families to become who theyre supposed to be. Nothing wrong with that. But there are other ways to do it."
31 Aug
HOT WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \:D/
29 Aug
Girl in line behind me was so close that I wanted to hand her a vibrator and tell her to help me multitask :|
29 Aug
RT @sethmeyers21 If the Internet goes out is there a central location in New York for us to drop off handwritten tweets?
27 Aug
RT @TheDragoEffect See when there was one set of footprints in the sand? It was then that I made you chickenfight those sorority girls - Jesus on Spring Break
26 Aug
As much fun as the 'Pin-Up last night was, I do believe I need a warning announcement to go off when I hear "I'm 21!" - THIS BOY IS YOUR BROTHER'S AGE! I feel like a cougar. At 25. But seriously, he was talking about new pop songs on the radio and I was like "UHHM? You kids and your loud music!!" :|
26 Aug
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - W. Clement Stone (aaand how I feel EVERY DAY) ... thanks google ads :)
25 Aug
@theboggs Has Ken looked at thehiredguns.com ? Just heard of them and their site looks like it might have some good leads.
24 Aug
Best first day of work EVER #earthquake
23 Aug
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
Need to ask Cute Manager out before the exhibit's over. Aaauuuuugghhhhhh #boys
22 Aug
My work crush (STRAIGHT IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT) just told me he liked my hair. #cloud9
21 Aug
Oh yes, invariably it happens that the ONE hot guy at the party... is there with his bf. My gaydar, hard at work.
21 Aug
Just figured it out - the Boycrazy is coming back &now I have crushes on ALL THE BOYS. It's been more than 6 years since it's been this bad.
20 Aug
Hard to resist screaming "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!" at anyone who bumps into me on the street. #yesiamanadult #whydoyouask
19 Aug
@ashleigm knows the way to my heart: "He's single, and his nose is kind of like that guy's from The Pianist." #weddinghookups
17 Aug
Haircut/blowout look fantastic, just had a chocolate croissant, & I am at the bar for my first day. Life doesn't get much better.
17 Aug
Never fb-stalk guys you think are cute. You will find out they're younger than your little brother AND THEN HOW WILL YOU FEEL??
16 Aug
RT @Queen_UK Ok girls, bidding for Prince Harry starts at 6pm.
16 Aug
My box office sign says "I have lost my voice." A lady made the ASL sign for "thank you." I'm not DEAF. #wtf
15 Aug
Dear coworkers: please stop complaining about the heat. Yes, it's quite warm, but if you all lost about ... oh... 150lbs each, way cooler. Everyone I work with is at least obese, if not morbidly so, and they need to know there's a correlation.
15 Aug
Wings + nutella-dipped strawberries ALMOST make up for the fact that I lost my voice at work today. Blahhhhhhh
14 Aug
Canceling movie night plans in Astoria, watching "Crazy About Pippa" instead. Surprise surprise.
11 Aug
My boss just gave me a Chanel wallet. I just can't even say how touched I am. #mighthavetearedupalittle
11 Aug
I have never had an exit interview as a temp before! From start to finish I must say that Chanel has been the best temp job EVER. I will be sad to leave tomorrow, but even bigger and better opportunities loom and I am so excited for my whole freakin life.
11 Aug
RT @CondeElevator Summer Intern: My driver had SUCH a bad attitude. I was like, "don't complain to me, I didn't eat lunch either! You think I eat clothes?"
9 Aug
I start my dream job a week from today!! Still waiting on official paperwork, but I am 99.97 over the moon right now :)
10 Aug
"We will be sending you an offer letter in the next 24 hours. Please let me know your earliest availability..." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9 Aug
En route to second round of big interview... And of course rain-drenched (stupid cabs in this stupid city)... But fingers crossed!
9 Aug
I love getting wardrobe compliments. I just haven't the heart to confess that my dress is not from DVF, but the jrs dept at Kohls.
5 Aug
YESSSSSSSS I have an interview tomorrow! For an event planner position!! Finally!!! *crossing fingers, toes, etc*
3 Aug
11+ nonstop hours at work, then a welcome-home/bday/wedding-reception party (yes, all 3 the same person). No wonder I'm tired.
2 Aug
Some questions have answers and others lead you on/ Some answers don't answer enough/ But I know the answer is love
2 Aug
31 Aug
"Some people need their families to become who theyre supposed to be. Nothing wrong with that. But there are other ways to do it."
31 Aug
HOT WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \:D/
29 Aug
Girl in line behind me was so close that I wanted to hand her a vibrator and tell her to help me multitask :|
29 Aug
RT @sethmeyers21 If the Internet goes out is there a central location in New York for us to drop off handwritten tweets?
27 Aug
RT @TheDragoEffect See when there was one set of footprints in the sand? It was then that I made you chickenfight those sorority girls - Jesus on Spring Break
26 Aug
As much fun as the 'Pin-Up last night was, I do believe I need a warning announcement to go off when I hear "I'm 21!" - THIS BOY IS YOUR BROTHER'S AGE! I feel like a cougar. At 25. But seriously, he was talking about new pop songs on the radio and I was like "UHHM? You kids and your loud music!!" :|
26 Aug
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - W. Clement Stone (aaand how I feel EVERY DAY) ... thanks google ads :)
25 Aug
@theboggs Has Ken looked at thehiredguns.com ? Just heard of them and their site looks like it might have some good leads.
24 Aug
Best first day of work EVER #earthquake
23 Aug
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
Need to ask Cute Manager out before the exhibit's over. Aaauuuuugghhhhhh #boys
22 Aug
My work crush (STRAIGHT IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT) just told me he liked my hair. #cloud9
21 Aug
Oh yes, invariably it happens that the ONE hot guy at the party... is there with his bf. My gaydar, hard at work.
21 Aug
Just figured it out - the Boycrazy is coming back &now I have crushes on ALL THE BOYS. It's been more than 6 years since it's been this bad.
20 Aug
Hard to resist screaming "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!" at anyone who bumps into me on the street. #yesiamanadult #whydoyouask
19 Aug
@ashleigm knows the way to my heart: "He's single, and his nose is kind of like that guy's from The Pianist." #weddinghookups
17 Aug
Haircut/blowout look fantastic, just had a chocolate croissant, & I am at the bar for my first day. Life doesn't get much better.
17 Aug
Never fb-stalk guys you think are cute. You will find out they're younger than your little brother AND THEN HOW WILL YOU FEEL??
16 Aug
RT @Queen_UK Ok girls, bidding for Prince Harry starts at 6pm.
16 Aug
My box office sign says "I have lost my voice." A lady made the ASL sign for "thank you." I'm not DEAF. #wtf
15 Aug
Dear coworkers: please stop complaining about the heat. Yes, it's quite warm, but if you all lost about ... oh... 150lbs each, way cooler. Everyone I work with is at least obese, if not morbidly so, and they need to know there's a correlation.
15 Aug
Wings + nutella-dipped strawberries ALMOST make up for the fact that I lost my voice at work today. Blahhhhhhh
14 Aug
Canceling movie night plans in Astoria, watching "Crazy About Pippa" instead. Surprise surprise.
11 Aug
My boss just gave me a Chanel wallet. I just can't even say how touched I am. #mighthavetearedupalittle
11 Aug
I have never had an exit interview as a temp before! From start to finish I must say that Chanel has been the best temp job EVER. I will be sad to leave tomorrow, but even bigger and better opportunities loom and I am so excited for my whole freakin life.
11 Aug
RT @CondeElevator Summer Intern: My driver had SUCH a bad attitude. I was like, "don't complain to me, I didn't eat lunch either! You think I eat clothes?"
9 Aug
I start my dream job a week from today!! Still waiting on official paperwork, but I am 99.97 over the moon right now :)
10 Aug
"We will be sending you an offer letter in the next 24 hours. Please let me know your earliest availability..." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9 Aug
En route to second round of big interview... And of course rain-drenched (stupid cabs in this stupid city)... But fingers crossed!
9 Aug
I love getting wardrobe compliments. I just haven't the heart to confess that my dress is not from DVF, but the jrs dept at Kohls.
5 Aug
YESSSSSSSS I have an interview tomorrow! For an event planner position!! Finally!!! *crossing fingers, toes, etc*
3 Aug
11+ nonstop hours at work, then a welcome-home/bday/wedding-reception party (yes, all 3 the same person). No wonder I'm tired.
2 Aug
Some questions have answers and others lead you on/ Some answers don't answer enough/ But I know the answer is love
2 Aug
Best of Twitter: July 2011
Hangover cure(?): Britney hits on loop. Also: no one should ever trust me with gin.
28 Jul
Going home, going to get VERY DRUNK kthxbye
27 Jul
Frou-frou fro-yo with Redditors before winning it all at our one-year trivia anniversary extravaganza... Life is good.
26 Jul
Someone brought norwegian chocolates to work this morning and I am only discovering the ones with liquor in them. At 9am. #uhoh
26 Jul
Gotta admit that Covert Affairs is not the greatest show but Christopher Gorham got seriously hot at some point. #unf
20 Jul
Oh, the sirens sang so sweet/ And watched the sailors going down/ Oh, you talked to me in siren song/ Yeah anyone would drown
20 Jul
Just booked my tickets to Ashleigh & Justin's wedding!! Also I will have a 4.5-hour layover in Boston, any natives have any ideas?
19 Jul
Watching The Marriage Ref solely because it's a full hour of @sethmeyers21. What more could a girl ask for??
17 Jul
Only worked 45 hours this week, felt like 90, ok going to bed now bye.
15 Jul
Unsurprisingly, I started bawling my eyes out at the exact same time in both book and movie. SO. GOOD. Epilogue: hilarious.
15 Jul
The gays just started cheering for Sarah Jessica Parker in her commercial for some nonprofit. Love.
15 Jul
All the Chelsea gays in this theater know each other. Hilar.
14 Jul
Speed-reading HP7 in the theater (which has no stadium seating and also, like, no people)... Best ever
14 Jul
PS "Not my daughter you bitch!!!" is gonna be the greatest moment in a movie theater EVER.
14 Jul
Dear god, please clone me, that is the only way I will not have to go straight from work to the Harry Potter premiere kthx.
14 Jul
Free sushi lunch then popping over to Tiffany's (if one can even do such a thing!) to buy nice things... Ahhhhh best day ever
14 Jul
Half-drunkenly dashing all the way to Chelsea to buy Harry Potter tickets because procrastinating is what I do best? Obvs.
13 Jul
Ok, a hard week only calls for two things: stiff drinks and KFC. Which is worse: proudly indulging in KFC, or hiding your to-go bag inside a Trader Joe's bag? Totes not me, asking for a friend.
13 Jul
What is the point of an "express" train if I could walk home faster? PLEASE can it be Friday? Why isn't it Friday??
12 Jul
I feel like I have worked a full week in these past two days. Are you SURE tomorrow isn't Friday?? #earningmypaycheck #oof
12 Jul
Should know better by now than to say "I thought I'd seen it all," but... making spitballs on the train? REALLY??
10 Jul
"Scrabble's a good date. If she can't spell, I don't want to hang out with her." -Justin Timberlake #OMGSOULMATES
8 Jul
30 more minutes until I am finding myself a stiff martini somewhere.
7 Jul
Penne a la vodka = closest thing I'm getting to alcohol for another 6 hours #waaambulance #whitegirlproblems
7 Jul
6th floor of Chanel = panic room. What day is it where am I what is going on ahhhhhhhhhhhh
7 Jul
Won't lie, part of me mourns the incoming Manhattan IHOP, but most of me just wants chocolate chip pancakes.
6 Jul
Ahhhhh just landed in NYC, I am sad to see the vacation end but I could kiss the smog-laden ground. #homesweethome
5 Jul
Au revoir, #vacation - you were desperately needed and will be sorely missed. Now: airports for the remaining 12 hours. Woo.
5 Jul
Gin martini = exactly what I needed. Also it was REALLY strong :D #drunkatnoon
3 Jul
Mass = awful, drive downtown = awful... Now brunch with (both) parents is threatening to be more of the same :/
3 Jul
OMG movie nachos #vacation
2 Jul
Nothing sounds sweeter than listening to someone booking you a deep-tissue massage. #vacation
2 Jul
Aaaand my mom just poured her coffee creamer into my diet coke. Who's awake? Not us! #vacation
1 Jul
OMG VACATION!!! 6 (mostly) all-expenses-paid days with nothing to do but relax... I have needed this for so long.
29 Jun
28 Jul
Going home, going to get VERY DRUNK kthxbye
27 Jul
Frou-frou fro-yo with Redditors before winning it all at our one-year trivia anniversary extravaganza... Life is good.
26 Jul
Someone brought norwegian chocolates to work this morning and I am only discovering the ones with liquor in them. At 9am. #uhoh
26 Jul
Gotta admit that Covert Affairs is not the greatest show but Christopher Gorham got seriously hot at some point. #unf
20 Jul
Oh, the sirens sang so sweet/ And watched the sailors going down/ Oh, you talked to me in siren song/ Yeah anyone would drown
20 Jul
Just booked my tickets to Ashleigh & Justin's wedding!! Also I will have a 4.5-hour layover in Boston, any natives have any ideas?
19 Jul
Watching The Marriage Ref solely because it's a full hour of @sethmeyers21. What more could a girl ask for??
17 Jul
Only worked 45 hours this week, felt like 90, ok going to bed now bye.
15 Jul
Unsurprisingly, I started bawling my eyes out at the exact same time in both book and movie. SO. GOOD. Epilogue: hilarious.
15 Jul
The gays just started cheering for Sarah Jessica Parker in her commercial for some nonprofit. Love.
15 Jul
All the Chelsea gays in this theater know each other. Hilar.
14 Jul
Speed-reading HP7 in the theater (which has no stadium seating and also, like, no people)... Best ever
14 Jul
PS "Not my daughter you bitch!!!" is gonna be the greatest moment in a movie theater EVER.
14 Jul
Dear god, please clone me, that is the only way I will not have to go straight from work to the Harry Potter premiere kthx.
14 Jul
Free sushi lunch then popping over to Tiffany's (if one can even do such a thing!) to buy nice things... Ahhhhh best day ever
14 Jul
Half-drunkenly dashing all the way to Chelsea to buy Harry Potter tickets because procrastinating is what I do best? Obvs.
13 Jul
Ok, a hard week only calls for two things: stiff drinks and KFC. Which is worse: proudly indulging in KFC, or hiding your to-go bag inside a Trader Joe's bag? Totes not me, asking for a friend.
13 Jul
What is the point of an "express" train if I could walk home faster? PLEASE can it be Friday? Why isn't it Friday??
12 Jul
I feel like I have worked a full week in these past two days. Are you SURE tomorrow isn't Friday?? #earningmypaycheck #oof
12 Jul
Should know better by now than to say "I thought I'd seen it all," but... making spitballs on the train? REALLY??
10 Jul
"Scrabble's a good date. If she can't spell, I don't want to hang out with her." -Justin Timberlake #OMGSOULMATES
8 Jul
30 more minutes until I am finding myself a stiff martini somewhere.
7 Jul
Penne a la vodka = closest thing I'm getting to alcohol for another 6 hours #waaambulance #whitegirlproblems
7 Jul
6th floor of Chanel = panic room. What day is it where am I what is going on ahhhhhhhhhhhh
7 Jul
Won't lie, part of me mourns the incoming Manhattan IHOP, but most of me just wants chocolate chip pancakes.
6 Jul
Ahhhhh just landed in NYC, I am sad to see the vacation end but I could kiss the smog-laden ground. #homesweethome
5 Jul
Au revoir, #vacation - you were desperately needed and will be sorely missed. Now: airports for the remaining 12 hours. Woo.
5 Jul
Gin martini = exactly what I needed. Also it was REALLY strong :D #drunkatnoon
3 Jul
Mass = awful, drive downtown = awful... Now brunch with (both) parents is threatening to be more of the same :/
3 Jul
OMG movie nachos #vacation
2 Jul
Nothing sounds sweeter than listening to someone booking you a deep-tissue massage. #vacation
2 Jul
Aaaand my mom just poured her coffee creamer into my diet coke. Who's awake? Not us! #vacation
1 Jul
OMG VACATION!!! 6 (mostly) all-expenses-paid days with nothing to do but relax... I have needed this for so long.
29 Jun
Best of Twitter: June 2011
Nutella & Go: sold in packs of 12! Nutella & breadsticks for days! Unless you are me, in which case it is Nutella for day.
29 Jun
I ... was just stuck on an elevator with like 7 male models. Models FOR CHANEL. Male. Models. #bzuh?? #hotflashes
28 Jun
Ahahaha I managed to fool my boss; she thought my espadrilles were Stuart Weitzmann. Broke-but-smart shopping ftw!
28 Jun
Aaaand now I'm listening to Adele Stackhouse's theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hv30UdV3H8&feature=related) and crying. Yay True Blood
27 Jun
Eric Northman makes me positively itchy with desire. Very strange sensation.
27 Jun
RT @sethmeyers21 In the last 10 minutes I've had 100 missed calls from Stefon.
24 Jun
Gay pride this weekend is gonna be NUTS. (watching anderson cooper cover the vote is sort of gleefully subversive.)
24 Jun
I have overcome more than words will ever say/And I've been given hope that a day will come when the fight is won
24 Jun
RT @bobpowers1 Rebecca Black should sing a song about the day you discover that men lie and they just take what they want and forget you. Or Wednesday.
23 Jun
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
It is just sick & wrong that I am still thinking about cleaning Roommate's room. All I wanna do is go home & start vacuuming. #OCD
22 Jun
Never thought it would come to this, but I am cleaning my roommate's room while he's out of town. Rubber gloves are involved. I'm not scrubbing or anything, but months upon months of moldy takeout bags is unhealthy for both of us :/ It's like Hoarders: Buried Alive up in here.
21 Jun
You look like the songs I've heard my whole life coming true
20 Jun
30 minutes (fashionably) late to a party, or can't-read-1-hr-early to the party? Guess. Just guess. #derp
17 Jun
Thought I'd seen it all until I saw Cookie Monster & a giant banana playing dueling xylophones. I am not kidding/high. #mta
17 Jun
As ridiculous as my life is sometimes, I am blessed beyond words and far beyond what I deserve.
17 Jun
For those of you hoping for a drunk blog: Your wish is my command! Except for the drunk part. But blog is updated! Full o' drama.
17 Jun
Just ran into an old office hookup & spent 20 agonizing minutes on the train with him. Glad I look damn good today.
17 Jun
I feel a drunk-blogging session coming up. I do not want drama in my life, why does it always find me? Stalker.
16 Jun
RT @TheDragoEffect No matter how proud we are to be top of the food chain, the sad truth is spiders are definitely more productive with their butts than we are
13 Jun
Now, I'm not saying that I should be a foot model or anything, but there are some ugly-footed bitches on this Q train today.
15 Jun
Walked me out & kissed me goodnight... I kinda dig this kid :) Kind of a hipster though...
14 Jun
That's TWO "I like your dress"es I've gotten in a week from my boss. My boss At Chanel. #flail
13 Jun
Never trust a limping pigeon. #wordsofwisdom #birdshiteverywhere #nyclife
13 Jun
I was told last night that I am kind of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. There were substances involved, but still. What?
12 Jun
Every time I see a promo for Zooey Deschanel's new show The New Girl, I get super giddy and want to skip right to September #ahhhh
9 Jun
"Why leave a city that has six professional sports teams, and the Mets?" Aaaahahaha just got that. (Manhattan Mini Storage ad)
8 Jun
CHANEL.
7 Jun
Masterchef = Joe Bastianich get in me now plzkthx
6 Jun
I don't ever think it will ever be clear to me why express trains get stuck due to traffic ahead, but local trains never do.
6 Jun
So, the SVP of wholesale at Chanel told me I look like Anne Hathaway and she liked my dress. Hoping I get the job doesn't seem extreme.
6 Jun
Late-night party in Astoria = work this morning makes me want to dieeeeeeeee @heatherteegee sorry for disappearing ha!
4 Jun
"Biting's like kissing, only there's a winner!" *chomp* Doctor Who <3
3 Jun
Just met with a new recruiter and I already have a red-carpet gig lined up for next week. THIS is how it was supposed to begin!!
1 Jun
29 Jun
I ... was just stuck on an elevator with like 7 male models. Models FOR CHANEL. Male. Models. #bzuh?? #hotflashes
28 Jun
Ahahaha I managed to fool my boss; she thought my espadrilles were Stuart Weitzmann. Broke-but-smart shopping ftw!
28 Jun
Aaaand now I'm listening to Adele Stackhouse's theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hv30UdV3H8&feature=related) and crying. Yay True Blood
27 Jun
Eric Northman makes me positively itchy with desire. Very strange sensation.
27 Jun
RT @sethmeyers21 In the last 10 minutes I've had 100 missed calls from Stefon.
24 Jun
Gay pride this weekend is gonna be NUTS. (watching anderson cooper cover the vote is sort of gleefully subversive.)
24 Jun
I have overcome more than words will ever say/And I've been given hope that a day will come when the fight is won
24 Jun
RT @bobpowers1 Rebecca Black should sing a song about the day you discover that men lie and they just take what they want and forget you. Or Wednesday.
23 Jun
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
It is just sick & wrong that I am still thinking about cleaning Roommate's room. All I wanna do is go home & start vacuuming. #OCD
22 Jun
Never thought it would come to this, but I am cleaning my roommate's room while he's out of town. Rubber gloves are involved. I'm not scrubbing or anything, but months upon months of moldy takeout bags is unhealthy for both of us :/ It's like Hoarders: Buried Alive up in here.
21 Jun
You look like the songs I've heard my whole life coming true
20 Jun
30 minutes (fashionably) late to a party, or can't-read-1-hr-early to the party? Guess. Just guess. #derp
17 Jun
Thought I'd seen it all until I saw Cookie Monster & a giant banana playing dueling xylophones. I am not kidding/high. #mta
17 Jun
As ridiculous as my life is sometimes, I am blessed beyond words and far beyond what I deserve.
17 Jun
For those of you hoping for a drunk blog: Your wish is my command! Except for the drunk part. But blog is updated! Full o' drama.
17 Jun
Just ran into an old office hookup & spent 20 agonizing minutes on the train with him. Glad I look damn good today.
17 Jun
I feel a drunk-blogging session coming up. I do not want drama in my life, why does it always find me? Stalker.
16 Jun
RT @TheDragoEffect No matter how proud we are to be top of the food chain, the sad truth is spiders are definitely more productive with their butts than we are
13 Jun
Now, I'm not saying that I should be a foot model or anything, but there are some ugly-footed bitches on this Q train today.
15 Jun
Walked me out & kissed me goodnight... I kinda dig this kid :) Kind of a hipster though...
14 Jun
That's TWO "I like your dress"es I've gotten in a week from my boss. My boss At Chanel. #flail
13 Jun
Never trust a limping pigeon. #wordsofwisdom #birdshiteverywhere #nyclife
13 Jun
I was told last night that I am kind of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. There were substances involved, but still. What?
12 Jun
Every time I see a promo for Zooey Deschanel's new show The New Girl, I get super giddy and want to skip right to September #ahhhh
9 Jun
"Why leave a city that has six professional sports teams, and the Mets?" Aaaahahaha just got that. (Manhattan Mini Storage ad)
8 Jun
CHANEL.
7 Jun
Masterchef = Joe Bastianich get in me now plzkthx
6 Jun
I don't ever think it will ever be clear to me why express trains get stuck due to traffic ahead, but local trains never do.
6 Jun
So, the SVP of wholesale at Chanel told me I look like Anne Hathaway and she liked my dress. Hoping I get the job doesn't seem extreme.
6 Jun
Late-night party in Astoria = work this morning makes me want to dieeeeeeeee @heatherteegee sorry for disappearing ha!
4 Jun
"Biting's like kissing, only there's a winner!" *chomp* Doctor Who <3
3 Jun
Just met with a new recruiter and I already have a red-carpet gig lined up for next week. THIS is how it was supposed to begin!!
1 Jun
Best of Twitter: May 2011
Ext: A group walks outside, heroine produces a lighter. Cute Scene Kid: "Hey, you anticipated my needs!" Heroine: "I'm a woman!"
31 May
Astoria for trivia with new friends (@heatherteegee See you there!! ..??)
31 May
Oh if only I had a real job. Then I could be in the Hamptons right now, and not at a box office with 800 million tourists :/
29 May
Safely ensconced at Village Pourhouse (theatre row location), let the drinking and sailor-hunting commence! :D
27 May
@iamcassandra FLEET WEEK. Discuss.
25 May
Rockin' a Tuesday night in Astoria with @heatherteegee. Why people make me leave my couch, I'll never know. #theredbetterbehotties
24 May
"Someday, we will tell our children's children about having lived two weeks ago, before the dawn of the Eternal Rain." <3 NYMag
24 May
6pm and the only evidence of the Apocalypse is the Real Housewives of NJ marathon on Bravo.
21 May
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN. #apocalypse #getthepopcorn #lootingparty
21 May
RT @alexWTrugs Haha it's so funny watching everyone freak out about the end of the world! It's May 21 here and nothing has hap
21 May
Acting debut: over and done with. Two performances to go.
18 May
Shit, the "God is a woman" nutjobs are back. #summerinthecity
15 May
Train smells like a soap factory. Dramatic improvement! AND a mariachi band! Best. Train ride. Ever.
15 May
Celebrating my one-year anniversary with NYC (and @TheDragoEffect's bday, of course) with a classy bottle of champagne :)
14 May
Running late to my own bday party. Oops.
"You are endless light in everyone's lives, mine included." Best bday voicemail ever, from one of the best people ever :D
12 May
Also I am having an AWESOME hair day #bday #bestday
Met/McQueen exhibit, bridesmaid dress shopping, then a bar night with tons of lovely NYC friends. #bday #bestday
12 May
Uuuggggghhhhhh not even awake for an hour and I get an email from my father. Whatever, this bday's gonna be amazing no matter what.
12 May
No cheese at the supermarket OR delis (is there some sort of Spanish holiday requiring Mexican-blend??) = nutella for dinner :)
8 May
After 51 weeks, it has finally happened: I'm starting to randomly run into people I know without planning it. #smallworldhuh
8 May
I'm drunk enough to tweet about how I'm only re-re-watching the series to see the Buffy/Spike hookup. #unf
7 May
Ohhhhhhh goddddddd the debut of Spike. #buffymarathon #tinglyinmygirlparts
7 May
At work... just got handed a World of Warcraft credit card... had a small but noticeable panic attack :/
7 May
White jeans always make me feel like I'm in Miami. Fitting that I unintentionally wore them to a Miami-themed bar tonight.
6 May
My gay crush at work (SURPRISE/SPOILER: I HAVE A GAY CRUSH AT WORK) told me I had hot shoes. Day = made!
6 May
The songbirds keep singing like they know the score/ and I love you I love you I love you like never before
3 May
Not gonna lie and say that riding public transit to Times Sq doesn't make me nervous, but things seem good-different today
2 May
Best case scenario: Obama comes out to the podium, carrying The Guy Who Killed Him on his shoulders, all sports-hero style.
1 May
Whoever can be proved responsible for the bullet that hit bin Laden had better receive a key to every city in this country.
1 May
Writing my speech (first draft obvi) for @ashleigm's wedding this September. Shit's gonna be EPIC. I'm going to be a drunk, tear-stained wreck by the time we even get to the reception hall. Duh.
1 May
31 May
Astoria for trivia with new friends (@heatherteegee See you there!! ..??)
31 May
Oh if only I had a real job. Then I could be in the Hamptons right now, and not at a box office with 800 million tourists :/
29 May
Safely ensconced at Village Pourhouse (theatre row location), let the drinking and sailor-hunting commence! :D
27 May
@iamcassandra FLEET WEEK. Discuss.
25 May
Rockin' a Tuesday night in Astoria with @heatherteegee. Why people make me leave my couch, I'll never know. #theredbetterbehotties
24 May
"Someday, we will tell our children's children about having lived two weeks ago, before the dawn of the Eternal Rain." <3 NYMag
24 May
6pm and the only evidence of the Apocalypse is the Real Housewives of NJ marathon on Bravo.
21 May
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN. #apocalypse #getthepopcorn #lootingparty
21 May
RT @alexWTrugs Haha it's so funny watching everyone freak out about the end of the world! It's May 21 here and nothing has hap
21 May
Acting debut: over and done with. Two performances to go.
18 May
Shit, the "God is a woman" nutjobs are back. #summerinthecity
15 May
Train smells like a soap factory. Dramatic improvement! AND a mariachi band! Best. Train ride. Ever.
15 May
Celebrating my one-year anniversary with NYC (and @TheDragoEffect's bday, of course) with a classy bottle of champagne :)
14 May
Running late to my own bday party. Oops.
"You are endless light in everyone's lives, mine included." Best bday voicemail ever, from one of the best people ever :D
12 May
Also I am having an AWESOME hair day #bday #bestday
Met/McQueen exhibit, bridesmaid dress shopping, then a bar night with tons of lovely NYC friends. #bday #bestday
12 May
Uuuggggghhhhhh not even awake for an hour and I get an email from my father. Whatever, this bday's gonna be amazing no matter what.
12 May
No cheese at the supermarket OR delis (is there some sort of Spanish holiday requiring Mexican-blend??) = nutella for dinner :)
8 May
After 51 weeks, it has finally happened: I'm starting to randomly run into people I know without planning it. #smallworldhuh
8 May
I'm drunk enough to tweet about how I'm only re-re-watching the series to see the Buffy/Spike hookup. #unf
7 May
Ohhhhhhh goddddddd the debut of Spike. #buffymarathon #tinglyinmygirlparts
7 May
At work... just got handed a World of Warcraft credit card... had a small but noticeable panic attack :/
7 May
White jeans always make me feel like I'm in Miami. Fitting that I unintentionally wore them to a Miami-themed bar tonight.
6 May
My gay crush at work (SURPRISE/SPOILER: I HAVE A GAY CRUSH AT WORK) told me I had hot shoes. Day = made!
6 May
The songbirds keep singing like they know the score/ and I love you I love you I love you like never before
3 May
Not gonna lie and say that riding public transit to Times Sq doesn't make me nervous, but things seem good-different today
2 May
Best case scenario: Obama comes out to the podium, carrying The Guy Who Killed Him on his shoulders, all sports-hero style.
1 May
Whoever can be proved responsible for the bullet that hit bin Laden had better receive a key to every city in this country.
1 May
Writing my speech (first draft obvi) for @ashleigm's wedding this September. Shit's gonna be EPIC. I'm going to be a drunk, tear-stained wreck by the time we even get to the reception hall. Duh.
1 May
Best of Twitter: April 2011
RT @Queen_UK A chandelier?! How on earth did he end up swinging from a chandelier?! Prince Harry, come down this instant.
30 Apr
Nope still not sick of Wills & Kate coverage, sorry #BBCAmericaForeverAndEver
29 Apr
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
29 Apr
NOT LEAVING FOR WORK UNTIL I SEE THEM KISS.
29 Apr
Aaaand now there's a BBC commentator (male) that borrowed a 12-year-old's hat and is learning how to curtsey #lovethis
29 Apr
RT @Queen_UK OK, back to the Palace. #ginoclock
29 Apr
Is there such a thing as polo-clapping? Is it similar to golf-clapping?
29 Apr
I love that the clergy are golf-clapping for them.
29 Apr
Ohhhhhh they composed a prayer together. What a lovely way to get around the traditional vows thing.
29 Apr
Everyone should go look at Google's homepage today. seriously. #royaltythatswho
29 Apr
Oh my lord they had an anthem COMPOSED for them. Who else gets John Rutter to write them a song on their wedding day?? #royaltythatswho
29 Apr
Wills and Harry are cracking jokes up on the altar. I LOVE THIS WEDDING.
29 Apr
Oh my god why am I crying??
29 Apr
Sarah Burton! No HUGE surprise there but that's SOOOOO exciting :D
29 Apr
Hair is down!!!!!!!!!!! #yes
29 Apr
THERE SHE IS
29 Apr
"A fan-BLOOMING-tastic day for British fashion" - FINALLY we've got women on outfit duty :D
29 Apr
That bright yellow outfit is AWESOME. @Queen_UK get it girrrrrrrrrl
29 Apr
Also, @Queen_UK is somehow tweeting everything JUST before it's broadcast- is there a time delay? Because I KNOW it's a fake account. Right?
29 Apr
These BBC commentators are hilarious. "Shoes by Jimmy Choos" ... why'd they put MEN on outfit duty??
29 Apr
Even getting hammered last night can't stop me from wedding coverage! :D :D :D
29 Apr
TheDragoEffect Jake Goldman
by AlliCooke
"Don't you see? The real secret to stopping these hungry zombies was inside you all along." - Specifically she was referring to my organs.
28 Apr
I can no longer eat bok choy with a straight face #tinybabyhands #stefon
28 Apr
Contemplating my outfit for tomorrow's #royalwedding... thinking sundress and floppy-brimmed hat. Not quite Philip Treacy but we do what we can.
28 Apr
Also: everyone else in the room got invited to a meeting. I did not get the invite. I know I'm leaving in 12 days but #awwwwwkward
26 Apr
Oh my god the girls in this office can be So. Stupid. sometimes. Arrggggggggg
26 Apr
Tired of getting shit on. The ladder-climbing, backstabbing, "me first" mentality has never been part of my work ethic & I hate it
25 Apr
There is absolutely nothing in this world like a really good cheeseburger. #nom
25 Apr
Just saw Eric from Gossip Girl on the L train platform!! The kid is seriously adorable, wanted to put him in my pocket.
24 Apr
Hey, why WOULDN'T there be a bagpipe player roaming the subway platforms at 10:30 at night??
23 Apr
If I'm told to be at work at 8:30, I will be there by 8:30. I expect that from my managers too. #ahem #couldbeinbedrightnow
23 Apr
Hmm. Whiskey really DOES help with a sore throat. Pretty sure drinking on Good Friday is kinda justifiable this way, right??
22 Apr
"Fleet Week is like Christmas for slutty people!!" Oh, @angeda.
22 Apr
Brunch with @heatherteegee and now off to see Ally1... This weekend of amazing hasn't disappointed yet!!
18 Apr
The Goldman father-son team is a terrifying, beautiful thing to behold (@TheDragoEffect I'm lookin at you, sir).
17 Apr
Out to brunch with my favorite jew, a very hungover @TheDragoEffect. I love everything about this day so far.
17 Apr
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
If my coworkers don't stop saying "LITERALLY" LITERALLY EVERY 20 MINUTES I'm going to literally punch someone in their literal fucking mouth
13 Apr
Total #whitegirlproblem but I really wish the wash & fold would be able to ACTUALLY offer the same-day service they advertise.
11 Apr
How do you tell someone that they're naming their baby after SUPERMAN and it's really fucking dumb? I mean, really - KALLEL??
10 Apr
It terrifies me sometimes how easy it is to slip into old patterns with the same kind of guys. I guess I do have a type?
8 Apr
It is most definitely, absolutely #beeroclock
8 Apr
Dear Commuter: if you want to know if your bf's coffee is cold/hazelnutty... just have a sip. Don't ram your tongue in his mouth.
7 Apr
Holy balls you guys, I'm meeting the CAST OF HARRY POTTER tomorrow. What the eff do I wear???
3 Apr
Gross-out of the day: told dude his total, and he pulls his credit card out of his wallet WITH HIS TEETH and hands it to me. DDDD:
3 Apr
"Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men, and dies as a single one." Seeing Heath Ledger in The Patriot, so young and shining and BRIGHT, just makes me so sad. #alsomaybealittledrunk... Up til 2am sobbing uncontrollably to The Patriot? Just another #saturdaynight
2 Apr
Aaaaand Operation: Gold Bunny has commenced. This is going to be the greatest day EVER.
1 Apr
30 Apr
Nope still not sick of Wills & Kate coverage, sorry #BBCAmericaForeverAndEver
29 Apr
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
29 Apr
NOT LEAVING FOR WORK UNTIL I SEE THEM KISS.
29 Apr
Aaaand now there's a BBC commentator (male) that borrowed a 12-year-old's hat and is learning how to curtsey #lovethis
29 Apr
RT @Queen_UK OK, back to the Palace. #ginoclock
29 Apr
Is there such a thing as polo-clapping? Is it similar to golf-clapping?
29 Apr
I love that the clergy are golf-clapping for them.
29 Apr
Ohhhhhh they composed a prayer together. What a lovely way to get around the traditional vows thing.
29 Apr
Everyone should go look at Google's homepage today. seriously. #royaltythatswho
29 Apr
Oh my lord they had an anthem COMPOSED for them. Who else gets John Rutter to write them a song on their wedding day?? #royaltythatswho
29 Apr
Wills and Harry are cracking jokes up on the altar. I LOVE THIS WEDDING.
29 Apr
Oh my god why am I crying??
29 Apr
Sarah Burton! No HUGE surprise there but that's SOOOOO exciting :D
29 Apr
Hair is down!!!!!!!!!!! #yes
29 Apr
THERE SHE IS
29 Apr
"A fan-BLOOMING-tastic day for British fashion" - FINALLY we've got women on outfit duty :D
29 Apr
That bright yellow outfit is AWESOME. @Queen_UK get it girrrrrrrrrl
29 Apr
Also, @Queen_UK is somehow tweeting everything JUST before it's broadcast- is there a time delay? Because I KNOW it's a fake account. Right?
29 Apr
These BBC commentators are hilarious. "Shoes by Jimmy Choos" ... why'd they put MEN on outfit duty??
29 Apr
Even getting hammered last night can't stop me from wedding coverage! :D :D :D
29 Apr
TheDragoEffect Jake Goldman
by AlliCooke
"Don't you see? The real secret to stopping these hungry zombies was inside you all along." - Specifically she was referring to my organs.
28 Apr
I can no longer eat bok choy with a straight face #tinybabyhands #stefon
28 Apr
Contemplating my outfit for tomorrow's #royalwedding... thinking sundress and floppy-brimmed hat. Not quite Philip Treacy but we do what we can.
28 Apr
Also: everyone else in the room got invited to a meeting. I did not get the invite. I know I'm leaving in 12 days but #awwwwwkward
26 Apr
Oh my god the girls in this office can be So. Stupid. sometimes. Arrggggggggg
26 Apr
Tired of getting shit on. The ladder-climbing, backstabbing, "me first" mentality has never been part of my work ethic & I hate it
25 Apr
There is absolutely nothing in this world like a really good cheeseburger. #nom
25 Apr
Just saw Eric from Gossip Girl on the L train platform!! The kid is seriously adorable, wanted to put him in my pocket.
24 Apr
Hey, why WOULDN'T there be a bagpipe player roaming the subway platforms at 10:30 at night??
23 Apr
If I'm told to be at work at 8:30, I will be there by 8:30. I expect that from my managers too. #ahem #couldbeinbedrightnow
23 Apr
Hmm. Whiskey really DOES help with a sore throat. Pretty sure drinking on Good Friday is kinda justifiable this way, right??
22 Apr
"Fleet Week is like Christmas for slutty people!!" Oh, @angeda.
22 Apr
Brunch with @heatherteegee and now off to see Ally1... This weekend of amazing hasn't disappointed yet!!
18 Apr
The Goldman father-son team is a terrifying, beautiful thing to behold (@TheDragoEffect I'm lookin at you, sir).
17 Apr
Out to brunch with my favorite jew, a very hungover @TheDragoEffect. I love everything about this day so far.
17 Apr
AlliCooke Alli Cooke
If my coworkers don't stop saying "LITERALLY" LITERALLY EVERY 20 MINUTES I'm going to literally punch someone in their literal fucking mouth
13 Apr
Total #whitegirlproblem but I really wish the wash & fold would be able to ACTUALLY offer the same-day service they advertise.
11 Apr
How do you tell someone that they're naming their baby after SUPERMAN and it's really fucking dumb? I mean, really - KALLEL??
10 Apr
It terrifies me sometimes how easy it is to slip into old patterns with the same kind of guys. I guess I do have a type?
8 Apr
It is most definitely, absolutely #beeroclock
8 Apr
Dear Commuter: if you want to know if your bf's coffee is cold/hazelnutty... just have a sip. Don't ram your tongue in his mouth.
7 Apr
Holy balls you guys, I'm meeting the CAST OF HARRY POTTER tomorrow. What the eff do I wear???
3 Apr
Gross-out of the day: told dude his total, and he pulls his credit card out of his wallet WITH HIS TEETH and hands it to me. DDDD:
3 Apr
"Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men, and dies as a single one." Seeing Heath Ledger in The Patriot, so young and shining and BRIGHT, just makes me so sad. #alsomaybealittledrunk... Up til 2am sobbing uncontrollably to The Patriot? Just another #saturdaynight
2 Apr
Aaaaand Operation: Gold Bunny has commenced. This is going to be the greatest day EVER.
1 Apr
Best of Twitter: March 2011
Yep, Mercury is most DEFINITELY in retrograde. FML this whole week blows.
31 Mar
DiNozzo: "I have a better chance of hooking up with Jessica Alba than finding these guys." ISWYDT. #NCIS
30 Mar
It's been a week since I turned off all-but-"mentioned" tweets and DMs, and I'm surprised to report that I don't miss it.
29 Mar
Guy playing "How Great Thou Art" on the MUSICAL SAW in the subway terminal. By far the highlight of my day so far. Also amazing: the lady with purple streaks in her hair... who put purple streaks in her white terrier's hair too. Uh-mazing.
27 Mar
Weird Things On The Train: 300-lb black dude reading a Harlequin romance novel. I shit y'all not. Bodice-ripper cover & everything. Oh lord and it's called "Viking In Love."
25 Mar
RT @heatherteegee Nolan Smith is crying. Kyle Singler can't cry, because vampires can't produce tears.
24 Mar
Well, that was a lot of work for 2 dozen cupcakes... But hot damn these babies are delicious. #winningatworktomorrow
24 Mar
Will Arnett on 30 Rock!! My love, my heart, my darling. <3
24 Mar
Bed Bath & Beyond, here I come!! #dangerous #buyallthethings
24 Mar
It's rain/snowing, it's Monday, and my boss just called me to laugh at me because a (foreign) client called me Cookie. Sigh.
21 Mar
Just tried to text my brother... On the tv remote #sofuckingtired
16 Mar
"He reminds me of a sexy, gentle Bruce Lee." "You just said that because he's the first famous Asian you could think of!!" #caf
16 Mar
"My Two Gay Dads Took Me To Starbucks" #newchildrensbook #overheardinthecafeteria
16 Mar
"God, I'm really nervous about [future] earthquakes in California. THEN WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO RYAN REYNOLDS??" #priorities
16 Mar
What is it about the Times Square subway escalator that they haven't in 5+ months been able to fix it??
15 Mar
ANNA WINTOUR IN THE CAFETERIA!!!
14 Mar
Cast party!!
11 Mar
You know those days when everything seems to effortlessly go your way? I apparently am having one of those YEARS.
10 Mar
Ahhhhhhh OPENING NIGHT!!!
9 Mar
RT @FakeMTA: All trains have given up timely service for Lent. Commuters are asked to be patient and atone for their sins.
9 Mar
RT @adam_overberg Happy "Yes, I Know I Have Something On My Forehead" Day to my Catholics out there!
9 Mar
Had a sexy dream about riding around Chapel Hill in a cab with Hot Boss. I just WONDER where my head's at this morning. (Ha.)
8 Mar
Darren Criss is in the Conde cafeteria. @theboggs I'm looking at you
7 Mar
Loved my vacation. Supremely glad to be back in New York.
7 Mar
I don't think I've ever actually flown out of RDU before this weekend. Not sure how that's possible.
6 Mar
RT @GoKTGo "I see you drivin' 'round town with some Heels I love and I'm like F*CK DOOK!!" GO HEELS!!!!! #unc
5 Mar
Sooooooo pumped from that win! Now I find myself in a grocery store so huge I don't know what to do with myself... Beer run!!!
5 Mar
This one's for you, Eve.
5 Mar
That's it. Kendall's babies are MINE. I will fight you for them.
5 Mar
RT @PaulPabst Duke-UNC on CBS? Poor Dickie V must be at the local Hooters loudly over-hyping this game to the patrons.
5 Mar
That smile on Kendall's face said it all. #fuckdook
5 Mar
Overheard at our table: "TIGER BLOOD!!!" "ADONIS DNA, MOTHERFUCKERS!!"
5 Mar
UNC is #WINNING and it is amazing. I have #Tigerblood in my veins right now.
5 Mar
RT @marianbull: RT @kenlylew: Do it for #evetoday boys. #gotohelldook
5 Mar
I just became the mayor of YOMESH on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ih3T28
4 Mar
This weather is divine, going to a mall, dinner with friends, smashable date to a Jersey Shore party... Today's gonna be amazing!
4 Mar
High point of yesterday: realizing at 10pm that Anthony and I had been at a liquor store before noon. #winning
4 Mar
Hanging out with @lizkooler and our fave hater @adam_overberg
3 Mar
Thought process: "Why is traffic so bad? It's only 5pm... Oh right, most people don't stay at the office til 7pm. Hmm."
3 Mar
Blue skies... Nothin' but blue skies... :)
3 Mar
GOD I missed this place. I feel like I'm on a different PLANET right now. Scratch that - I feel like a different person altogether
3 Mar
Watching the UNC game from my seat on the airplane. I LOVE JetBlue.
2 Mar
Best weekend ever starts tonight!! We'll be starting out around 8 at Goodfella's for the second half of the game - come join us!!
2 Mar
31 Mar
DiNozzo: "I have a better chance of hooking up with Jessica Alba than finding these guys." ISWYDT. #NCIS
30 Mar
It's been a week since I turned off all-but-"mentioned" tweets and DMs, and I'm surprised to report that I don't miss it.
29 Mar
Guy playing "How Great Thou Art" on the MUSICAL SAW in the subway terminal. By far the highlight of my day so far. Also amazing: the lady with purple streaks in her hair... who put purple streaks in her white terrier's hair too. Uh-mazing.
27 Mar
Weird Things On The Train: 300-lb black dude reading a Harlequin romance novel. I shit y'all not. Bodice-ripper cover & everything. Oh lord and it's called "Viking In Love."
25 Mar
RT @heatherteegee Nolan Smith is crying. Kyle Singler can't cry, because vampires can't produce tears.
24 Mar
Well, that was a lot of work for 2 dozen cupcakes... But hot damn these babies are delicious. #winningatworktomorrow
24 Mar
Will Arnett on 30 Rock!! My love, my heart, my darling. <3
24 Mar
Bed Bath & Beyond, here I come!! #dangerous #buyallthethings
24 Mar
It's rain/snowing, it's Monday, and my boss just called me to laugh at me because a (foreign) client called me Cookie. Sigh.
21 Mar
Just tried to text my brother... On the tv remote #sofuckingtired
16 Mar
"He reminds me of a sexy, gentle Bruce Lee." "You just said that because he's the first famous Asian you could think of!!" #caf
16 Mar
"My Two Gay Dads Took Me To Starbucks" #newchildrensbook #overheardinthecafeteria
16 Mar
"God, I'm really nervous about [future] earthquakes in California. THEN WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO RYAN REYNOLDS??" #priorities
16 Mar
What is it about the Times Square subway escalator that they haven't in 5+ months been able to fix it??
15 Mar
ANNA WINTOUR IN THE CAFETERIA!!!
14 Mar
Cast party!!
11 Mar
You know those days when everything seems to effortlessly go your way? I apparently am having one of those YEARS.
10 Mar
Ahhhhhhh OPENING NIGHT!!!
9 Mar
RT @FakeMTA: All trains have given up timely service for Lent. Commuters are asked to be patient and atone for their sins.
9 Mar
RT @adam_overberg Happy "Yes, I Know I Have Something On My Forehead" Day to my Catholics out there!
9 Mar
Had a sexy dream about riding around Chapel Hill in a cab with Hot Boss. I just WONDER where my head's at this morning. (Ha.)
8 Mar
Darren Criss is in the Conde cafeteria. @theboggs I'm looking at you
7 Mar
Loved my vacation. Supremely glad to be back in New York.
7 Mar
I don't think I've ever actually flown out of RDU before this weekend. Not sure how that's possible.
6 Mar
RT @GoKTGo "I see you drivin' 'round town with some Heels I love and I'm like F*CK DOOK!!" GO HEELS!!!!! #unc
5 Mar
Sooooooo pumped from that win! Now I find myself in a grocery store so huge I don't know what to do with myself... Beer run!!!
5 Mar
This one's for you, Eve.
5 Mar
That's it. Kendall's babies are MINE. I will fight you for them.
5 Mar
RT @PaulPabst Duke-UNC on CBS? Poor Dickie V must be at the local Hooters loudly over-hyping this game to the patrons.
5 Mar
That smile on Kendall's face said it all. #fuckdook
5 Mar
Overheard at our table: "TIGER BLOOD!!!" "ADONIS DNA, MOTHERFUCKERS!!"
5 Mar
UNC is #WINNING and it is amazing. I have #Tigerblood in my veins right now.
5 Mar
RT @marianbull: RT @kenlylew: Do it for #evetoday boys. #gotohelldook
5 Mar
I just became the mayor of YOMESH on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ih3T28
4 Mar
This weather is divine, going to a mall, dinner with friends, smashable date to a Jersey Shore party... Today's gonna be amazing!
4 Mar
High point of yesterday: realizing at 10pm that Anthony and I had been at a liquor store before noon. #winning
4 Mar
Hanging out with @lizkooler and our fave hater @adam_overberg
3 Mar
Thought process: "Why is traffic so bad? It's only 5pm... Oh right, most people don't stay at the office til 7pm. Hmm."
3 Mar
Blue skies... Nothin' but blue skies... :)
3 Mar
GOD I missed this place. I feel like I'm on a different PLANET right now. Scratch that - I feel like a different person altogether
3 Mar
Watching the UNC game from my seat on the airplane. I LOVE JetBlue.
2 Mar
Best weekend ever starts tonight!! We'll be starting out around 8 at Goodfella's for the second half of the game - come join us!!
2 Mar
Best of Twitter: February 2011
If laughter is the measure of one's happiness, then I am in heaven. 2011 just might be the best year of my life.
27 Feb
Jersey Shore/ pasta/ garlic bread/ Anthony Miller ... Life doesn't get much better than this.
26 Feb
Oooooh I have such a talent crush on one of my actors. Cast party target is in focus and I've got an itchy trigger finger.
26 Feb
Rehearsal with sexy actors, plus I have tater tots? Maybe the best day ever.
24 Feb
Pretty much everyone on this A/C/E platform right now looks like they're heading out to party with Stefon all night. V strange. Hipster John Lennon, girls with tails, camo-clad haiku poets...
20 Feb
oh my god, stop being a cunt and blaming your slave of an associate for everything. #iwanttopunchyou
16 Feb
12-year-old busking/playing piano. Best part: the face of the 300-lb guy, utterly confused by Fur Elise in a subway terminal.
14 Feb
Experimenting with a new brand of champagne on vday = mistake. Tastes like ass. Gulping it is clearly the only option.
14 Feb
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?/ Is my love your drug? (Ke$ha lyrics are the closest my tweets are going to get to VDay-appropriate sentiment, and I'm really good with that.)
14 Feb
Planning my Valentine's Day menu... I'm thinking KFC and a whole bottle of champagne? Suggestions?
12 Feb
Dear office bitch: this is not the batcave. also i am not a child. i will put the fax papers back, and keep the blinds open. thanks.
11 Feb
Fried chicken!! Fried chicken in the caf!!!! I eated it all. #jealoussssss?
10 Feb
What the fuck kind of name is Plumlee anyway? And the commentators' obsession with that other dude's mom is weird/disturbing.
9 Feb
Seeing these ugly-ass dook players throw up devil horns before calling plays makes me want to puke all over Durham.
9 Feb
RT @carolinamarch The Cameron Crazies wearing sunglasses indoors thought ahead; the glare coming off Kyle Singler must be blinding
9 Feb
I am sitting in a sea of carolina blue in the most amazing city in the world. @iamcassandra's company doesn't hurt either. #heels
9 Feb
RT @justinsands: on nights like this, I throw social justice out the window and hope that all of dook collapses
9 Feb
RT @paigeheskamp dook fans think spending 196 hrs in a tent indicates passion. UNC fans think 196 hrs in a tent indicates a lack of other social engagements.
9 Feb
#dooksucks RT @chanthorp: Our students are talking about the future and asking smart questions instead of wasting time sitting in a tent
9 Feb
Yesssss thank baby jesus, i paid for 1 snickers bar and the machine gave me 2. #thereisagod
8 Feb
MMMMMMMM Adrien Brody unf unf
6 Feb
Oh my god. I think I just heard a girl in the apartment. Who isn't me. Who has been here since before 8am. Wtf is going on here??
5 Feb
Sleeping in + hanging out with @TheDragoEffect tonight = best Saturday ever?
5 Feb
Augghhhh rehearsal so excited!! This weekend is going to be ridiculously awesome.
4 Feb
Get skinny for upcoming sexytimes... ORRRR eat this delicious brownie? Like there is even a choice. #nom
3 Feb
Oh my god, neal caffrey is in a wifebeater and drenched with sweat.
1 Feb
I am high on essential oils. I'm not even kidding. I am extremely aware of my gums right now. #massage
1 Feb
Oh my lordddddddd. Just announced: drinking in the office today in honor of our boss' birthday. This is going to be EPIC. Also, there go my plans to clean my bathroom tonight. And also my plans to stay hydrated after my massage this afternoon. Oof.
1 Feb
27 Feb
Jersey Shore/ pasta/ garlic bread/ Anthony Miller ... Life doesn't get much better than this.
26 Feb
Oooooh I have such a talent crush on one of my actors. Cast party target is in focus and I've got an itchy trigger finger.
26 Feb
Rehearsal with sexy actors, plus I have tater tots? Maybe the best day ever.
24 Feb
Pretty much everyone on this A/C/E platform right now looks like they're heading out to party with Stefon all night. V strange. Hipster John Lennon, girls with tails, camo-clad haiku poets...
20 Feb
oh my god, stop being a cunt and blaming your slave of an associate for everything. #iwanttopunchyou
16 Feb
12-year-old busking/playing piano. Best part: the face of the 300-lb guy, utterly confused by Fur Elise in a subway terminal.
14 Feb
Experimenting with a new brand of champagne on vday = mistake. Tastes like ass. Gulping it is clearly the only option.
14 Feb
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?/ Is my love your drug? (Ke$ha lyrics are the closest my tweets are going to get to VDay-appropriate sentiment, and I'm really good with that.)
14 Feb
Planning my Valentine's Day menu... I'm thinking KFC and a whole bottle of champagne? Suggestions?
12 Feb
Dear office bitch: this is not the batcave. also i am not a child. i will put the fax papers back, and keep the blinds open. thanks.
11 Feb
Fried chicken!! Fried chicken in the caf!!!! I eated it all. #jealoussssss?
10 Feb
What the fuck kind of name is Plumlee anyway? And the commentators' obsession with that other dude's mom is weird/disturbing.
9 Feb
Seeing these ugly-ass dook players throw up devil horns before calling plays makes me want to puke all over Durham.
9 Feb
RT @carolinamarch The Cameron Crazies wearing sunglasses indoors thought ahead; the glare coming off Kyle Singler must be blinding
9 Feb
I am sitting in a sea of carolina blue in the most amazing city in the world. @iamcassandra's company doesn't hurt either. #heels
9 Feb
RT @justinsands: on nights like this, I throw social justice out the window and hope that all of dook collapses
9 Feb
RT @paigeheskamp dook fans think spending 196 hrs in a tent indicates passion. UNC fans think 196 hrs in a tent indicates a lack of other social engagements.
9 Feb
#dooksucks RT @chanthorp: Our students are talking about the future and asking smart questions instead of wasting time sitting in a tent
9 Feb
Yesssss thank baby jesus, i paid for 1 snickers bar and the machine gave me 2. #thereisagod
8 Feb
MMMMMMMM Adrien Brody unf unf
6 Feb
Oh my god. I think I just heard a girl in the apartment. Who isn't me. Who has been here since before 8am. Wtf is going on here??
5 Feb
Sleeping in + hanging out with @TheDragoEffect tonight = best Saturday ever?
5 Feb
Augghhhh rehearsal so excited!! This weekend is going to be ridiculously awesome.
4 Feb
Get skinny for upcoming sexytimes... ORRRR eat this delicious brownie? Like there is even a choice. #nom
3 Feb
Oh my god, neal caffrey is in a wifebeater and drenched with sweat.
1 Feb
I am high on essential oils. I'm not even kidding. I am extremely aware of my gums right now. #massage
1 Feb
Oh my lordddddddd. Just announced: drinking in the office today in honor of our boss' birthday. This is going to be EPIC. Also, there go my plans to clean my bathroom tonight. And also my plans to stay hydrated after my massage this afternoon. Oof.
1 Feb
9.02.2011
Best of Twitter: January 2011
Bitch, I am REALLY NOT OKAY with you telling me to close my window shade. If you have so much glare then you should get a screen protector. Also I sit right next to you. I do not have glare on my screen. I call shenanigans.
31 Jan
I don't care where he likes to stick it, or where he likes it stuck... Matt Bomer is just the hottest thing on the planet. #unf
30 Jan
I'm cheating at a game of chicken - I'm not the one with anything to lose.
28 Jan
urgghhh inappropriate sex fantasies at work = i am NOT being productive today.
28 Jan
New fave activity: watching tourists in Times Square get almost-decapitating by falling chunks of snow/ice. Mwa ha ha.
27 Jan
Yep that's right, I am Mayor of BOTH MY OFFICES. #fml
26 Jan
I just ousted Janiejaner G. as the mayor of Condé Nast Digital on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9B0EJT
26 Jan
It is so cold in this office that my Lindor truffles are hard. That is not a euphemism.
24 Jan
What the actual fuck is an express train for if it moves slower than the local trains?? #fuckyouMTA
24 Jan
9 degrees? NINE??? I'm filing a complaint.
24 Jan
You'd think that a "good morning sunshine" text would mean one does not have a girlfriend. You'd think wrong. This is so weird.
23 Jan
Yes, I am about to order delivery from the restaurant that is literally across the street from me. I DON'T WANNA DRY MY HAIR OK?
22 Jan
Woke up topless. Alone, but topless. & the tip I left the cabbie seems reasonable. Don't remember much but I seem all in one piece. Success!
22 Jan
Dear F/M train: I have been in these heels for 13 hours and counting. Please hurry the fuck up so I can get home.
20 Jan
At my first indoor soccer game since college... Makes me miss watching @themusci's finery (and dreamy quads. yeah i said it).
20 Jan
Soccer team dinner! Wait, I'm not ON a soccer team...
20 Jan
Best part of winter? Coats are so bulky that I can have a mini dance party on the sidewalk and (I think) no one can detect it! :D (In case you all were wondering, yes, I am jamming out to Hanson. Jealous??)
20 Jan
HAAAAA MAYOR OF MY OFFICE. #fml
18 Jan
I just ousted @rebeccaisquith as the mayor of Condé Nast Digital on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/7WyaNQ
18 Jan
Thought process about 30min ago: "I have nowhere to be today. I'm thirsty. Whiskey? Whiskey." #playcation
17 Jan
It feels amazing to know that I have friends who quite literally count down the days until I come visit them :) #SB11
15 Jan
Washing down my sudafed with a swig from my Robitussin bottle... Keepin it classy on the subway platform #ilookhomeless
15 Jan
Robo-tripping at work... this could get interesting
14 Jan
Just booked my ticket to Chapel Hill... Carolina here I come!!! :)
13 Jan
Fuck Ophiuchus, I'll be a taurus until the day I die. Fuck that Aries bullshit.
13 Jan
Evil BitchMom: "Is it snowing?" Me: "Yep! Just started! I'm excited!" Evil BitchMom: "I'M NOT." (of course you're not you old hag) #snooooow
11 Jan
Off to @JohnnyGWeir's book signing... SO excited!!
11 Jan
Ran into the evil bitchmom from my building in the Rite Aid. All I have to say is, if you want perfect/subservient children, get a gerbil. Seriously, all she does is whine about how they run around/get their shoes muddy. THEY'RE 8 YEARS OLD.
10 Jan
Cat that just ate like 12 canaries/ lots of other metaphors
8 Jan
RT @TheThryll: If you were stranded on an island and could only bring one Dave Matthews album, how would you kill yourself?
7 Jan
Y'all. How did it take me so long to find this wonderful corner of the internet? Google image search the term "241543903".
7 Jan
He's gorgeous, he's Catholic, he can cook AND clean, he's a perfect gentleman... I'm IN LOVE. Can we get married tomorrow? #newofficecrush
7 Jan
Woke up, possibly still drunk?, it's snowing, and my roommate took a 10-minute shower for once in his life... wtf is going on???
7 Jan
Also, "You're really pretty........... All you'd have to do is keep your weight down and you'd be PERFECT!" is NOT A COMPLIMENT.
3 Jan
Drunk snorkeling: bad idea, good idea, or BEST idea?
3 Jan
Drinking a Bud Select on the beach after swimming with dolphins. If my mother weren't such a psycho I'd be in paradise right now.
3 Jan
SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS TOMORROW. Also I will be back in NY in ~24 hours and I'm more depressed about that than I figured I'd be.
2 Jan
Space Mountain what uuuuuuuup
2 Jan
31 Jan
I don't care where he likes to stick it, or where he likes it stuck... Matt Bomer is just the hottest thing on the planet. #unf
30 Jan
I'm cheating at a game of chicken - I'm not the one with anything to lose.
28 Jan
urgghhh inappropriate sex fantasies at work = i am NOT being productive today.
28 Jan
New fave activity: watching tourists in Times Square get almost-decapitating by falling chunks of snow/ice. Mwa ha ha.
27 Jan
Yep that's right, I am Mayor of BOTH MY OFFICES. #fml
26 Jan
I just ousted Janiejaner G. as the mayor of Condé Nast Digital on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9B0EJT
26 Jan
It is so cold in this office that my Lindor truffles are hard. That is not a euphemism.
24 Jan
What the actual fuck is an express train for if it moves slower than the local trains?? #fuckyouMTA
24 Jan
9 degrees? NINE??? I'm filing a complaint.
24 Jan
You'd think that a "good morning sunshine" text would mean one does not have a girlfriend. You'd think wrong. This is so weird.
23 Jan
Yes, I am about to order delivery from the restaurant that is literally across the street from me. I DON'T WANNA DRY MY HAIR OK?
22 Jan
Woke up topless. Alone, but topless. & the tip I left the cabbie seems reasonable. Don't remember much but I seem all in one piece. Success!
22 Jan
Dear F/M train: I have been in these heels for 13 hours and counting. Please hurry the fuck up so I can get home.
20 Jan
At my first indoor soccer game since college... Makes me miss watching @themusci's finery (and dreamy quads. yeah i said it).
20 Jan
Soccer team dinner! Wait, I'm not ON a soccer team...
20 Jan
Best part of winter? Coats are so bulky that I can have a mini dance party on the sidewalk and (I think) no one can detect it! :D (In case you all were wondering, yes, I am jamming out to Hanson. Jealous??)
20 Jan
HAAAAA MAYOR OF MY OFFICE. #fml
18 Jan
I just ousted @rebeccaisquith as the mayor of Condé Nast Digital on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/7WyaNQ
18 Jan
Thought process about 30min ago: "I have nowhere to be today. I'm thirsty. Whiskey? Whiskey." #playcation
17 Jan
It feels amazing to know that I have friends who quite literally count down the days until I come visit them :) #SB11
15 Jan
Washing down my sudafed with a swig from my Robitussin bottle... Keepin it classy on the subway platform #ilookhomeless
15 Jan
Robo-tripping at work... this could get interesting
14 Jan
Just booked my ticket to Chapel Hill... Carolina here I come!!! :)
13 Jan
Fuck Ophiuchus, I'll be a taurus until the day I die. Fuck that Aries bullshit.
13 Jan
Evil BitchMom: "Is it snowing?" Me: "Yep! Just started! I'm excited!" Evil BitchMom: "I'M NOT." (of course you're not you old hag) #snooooow
11 Jan
Off to @JohnnyGWeir's book signing... SO excited!!
11 Jan
Ran into the evil bitchmom from my building in the Rite Aid. All I have to say is, if you want perfect/subservient children, get a gerbil. Seriously, all she does is whine about how they run around/get their shoes muddy. THEY'RE 8 YEARS OLD.
10 Jan
Cat that just ate like 12 canaries/ lots of other metaphors
8 Jan
RT @TheThryll: If you were stranded on an island and could only bring one Dave Matthews album, how would you kill yourself?
7 Jan
Y'all. How did it take me so long to find this wonderful corner of the internet? Google image search the term "241543903".
7 Jan
He's gorgeous, he's Catholic, he can cook AND clean, he's a perfect gentleman... I'm IN LOVE. Can we get married tomorrow? #newofficecrush
7 Jan
Woke up, possibly still drunk?, it's snowing, and my roommate took a 10-minute shower for once in his life... wtf is going on???
7 Jan
Also, "You're really pretty........... All you'd have to do is keep your weight down and you'd be PERFECT!" is NOT A COMPLIMENT.
3 Jan
Drunk snorkeling: bad idea, good idea, or BEST idea?
3 Jan
Drinking a Bud Select on the beach after swimming with dolphins. If my mother weren't such a psycho I'd be in paradise right now.
3 Jan
SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS TOMORROW. Also I will be back in NY in ~24 hours and I'm more depressed about that than I figured I'd be.
2 Jan
Space Mountain what uuuuuuuup
2 Jan
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